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hot dogs are charcuterie sandwiches

@riothobbit.bsky.social

chef, meat cutter, blueskys #1 DAD, anti-hunger, leftist hobbit and ttrpg dork. he/him/they alt txt pfp: a bat-signal hot dog spotlight shines over gotham alt txt banner: a close up of the hand-stitched '#1 DAD' patch on my vest

2,642 Followers  |  2,862 Following  |  16,994 Posts  |  Joined: 01.07.2023  |  2.4931

Latest posts by riothobbit.bsky.social on Bluesky

over one hundred million men die every year from the heartbreak of ball sitting. one pair of boxer briefs can save a life.

08.12.2025 00:34 β€” πŸ‘ 2    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

NORMAL AS FUCK

08.12.2025 00:33 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

aye-up, cutting the cables sure do change the ole' swing uh thuh pendulum, if you know what I mean *adjusts straw hat, spits, hitches overalls*

08.12.2025 00:32 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

just sat on my balls

08.12.2025 00:29 β€” πŸ‘ 8    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 3    πŸ“Œ 0

we're gonna normalize talking about sitting on our balls like we talk about prostate exams, gents. no more secrets, no more shame, -no more being weird freaks in the DM's-.

Ball Sitting: The More You Know

07.12.2025 23:55 β€” πŸ‘ 6    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

After they dismantle birthright citizenship they’re going to start with the calipers.

07.12.2025 21:24 β€” πŸ‘ 7    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Disco Elysium game where you wake up as Noah and have to figure out why you cursed Ham.

07.12.2025 21:22 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Disco Elysium game where you wake up as Noah and have to figure out why you cursed Ham.

07.12.2025 21:22 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

I’m talking shit the bed while you’re in it with a concubine who belongs to someone else while waving a sword at invisible threats level wasted. Off the charts antisocial drunkenness that only one guy called out.

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07.12.2025 21:22 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 2    πŸ“Œ 0

did people shit the bed this badly about having to learn about writing when it was new?

07.12.2025 21:18 β€” πŸ‘ 5    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

could excessive drunkenness be the shameful condition that later editors tried to imply was actually a prophetic state?

07.12.2025 21:14 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

so 'nakedness' kind of stands in for some kind of sexual shame/shameful situation (no testicles, committing incest, committing adultery) and he takes it out on ham and hams kids is what i've got so far.

07.12.2025 21:12 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 2    πŸ“Œ 0
07.12.2025 21:08 β€” πŸ‘ 7    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
07.12.2025 20:59 β€” πŸ‘ 18    πŸ” 2    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

I would love to hear more about that but all I have to contribute is β€˜ow wow,’ and β€˜that’s cool!’ because I am way out of my wheelhouse

07.12.2025 20:41 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

you can bump a whole ass playlist of Nugent, Aerosmith, Nuzzi, MotΓΆrhead, and a dozen others, all songs called β€˜Jailbait’ and frankly, that’s fucked up.

07.12.2025 17:46 β€” πŸ‘ 5    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

that story is missing a lot, ham is the only witness to what was really going on in that tent cause his brothers didn’t look, very very suspicious all around.

07.12.2025 17:05 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

Maybe β€˜and fuck that kid’ was redacted as an unworthy prophecy but they forgot to change the verb.

07.12.2025 16:57 β€” πŸ‘ 2    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

for as long as people have been getting all fuckerated up, they have viewed getting fuckerated as a gift from god

07.12.2025 16:52 β€” πŸ‘ 6    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

🫑

07.12.2025 16:46 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

he won't switch parties he'll just vote the cult line like sinema or manchin while they hold dirt on him

07.12.2025 16:45 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Back int the day I would have drank both shots which is why bartenders typically don’t give out two free shots at once unless they already know two people are drinking together. Story smacks of bullshit.

07.12.2025 16:16 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

β€˜Note to self: fire is bad for removing beard, go to plan B’

07.12.2025 16:08 β€” πŸ‘ 9    πŸ” 3    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

the clan chief gestures to the stick figure of the god, scratched in dirt:

β€˜it is as worthy as any temple or sacred grove. my son, Weakseed, the high priest, says β€˜whatever, the gods are idiots, they don’t know shit from shinola. fuck β€˜em sideways and raise the price.’

07.12.2025 01:33 β€” πŸ‘ 4    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

we must protect weird al at all costs

06.12.2025 18:35 β€” πŸ‘ 16    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

thanks for thinking of the joke, it’s funny as hell: me and my imagination will take it from here, and now I am -laughing-.

07.12.2025 01:03 β€” πŸ‘ 12    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
Preview
Thousands of Years Before Humans Raised Chickens, They Tried to Domesticate the World's Deadliest Bird Fossilized eggs found in rock shelters suggest cassowaries were cohabitating with our ancestors

related: there were some tough ass motherfuckers back in the day www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/c...

07.12.2025 00:49 β€” πŸ‘ 3    πŸ” 2    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

We can make this guys wish come true

07.12.2025 00:22 β€” πŸ‘ 10    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Here's a good idea: Wear a a t-shirt with fucked up text on it and so if anyone takes a picture of you doing shit you can go, "Well, that's obviously AI."

06.12.2025 18:50 β€” πŸ‘ 27    πŸ” 8    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

so... seen any good rube goldberg deathtraps inconspicuously tailored to the boss' thematic interests?

06.12.2025 18:20 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

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