Ross Sayers

The people posting an AI cartoon of themselves...you realise the rest of us are looking at it like you're a child who just approached the grown ups table. 'whats this? you as a cartoon is it? With a little cup of coffee. Oh wow.' We're ruffling your hair and telling you to go back outside and play

MINNEAPOLIS (AP) — Alberto Castañeda Mondragón says his memory was so jumbled after a beating by immigration officers that he initially could not remember he had a daughter and still struggles to recall treasured moments like the night he taught her to dance. But the violence he endured last month in Minnesota while being detained is seared into his battered brain. He remembers Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents pulling him from a friend’s car on Jan. 8 outside a St. Paul shopping center and throwing him to the ground, handcuffing him, then punching him and striking his head with a steel baton. He remembers being dragged into an SUV and taken to a detention facility, where he said he was beaten again. He also remembers the emergency room and the intense pain from eight skull fractures and five life-threatening brain hemorrhages.

ICE told nurses this Minneapolis man “purposefully ran headfirst into a brick wall.”

What actually happened is that they pulled him from a car, beat him so viciously with a steel baton that he had 8 skull fractures, 5 life-threatening brain hemorrhages, and couldn’t remember he had a daughter.

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised by anything these days but I really would've thought some of the people directly involved with Epstein would be killing themselves about now, not going on telly and trying to explain how they're not like the rest of them

I have since found out that some women are indeed colour blind and Ashley fed me fake news

Have you ever been in a park and there's a car just driving through the park and it's like...what's going on here then. Is this allowed

Thrilled to announce my next play PROPHETS which we plan to debut at the Edinburgh Fringe 2026. Sadly it's really expensive to do the Fringe and we are a group of independent artists so we're launching a Crowdfunder to help get us there.

Please share widely if you can support please do.

SNL writers are quite important too so wonder if those will be announced for SNL UK also

How ex SNL people talk about SNL on podcasts: man can you imagine being there in the early days, it would've been so special, just like....comic geniuses at work

Sketches from that time: hello I am Mr poo poo head and I need a poo poo urgently

Prediction time (and we can circle back later):

Will SNL UK get a second season/series?

I'm leaning Yes...but probably not a third

Yesterday at central station a very polite middle aged woman explained to a staff member that she'd gone through the wrong ticket gate and could she please be let back out and the guy goes 'aw ye numpty'. Scotland...you cannot beat it

Children and police officers among at least 30 killed in Israeli strikes on Gaza Deadly attacks launched day before border crossing due to open as part of ceasefire deal

Israel bombed tents in Gaza today, killed at least 30 people including children, and the death toll is likely to rise

www.theguardian.com/world/2026/j...

If you had a time machine and a gun, do you think you would have it in you to go back in time and kill baby guinness

Looking back I should've just accepted Star Wars... but once I said no to that, I was locked in

Share far and wide please

New phrase I've come up with to reference someone with rotten luck: 'aw yeah terrible luck him, he could go crowd surfing and get bitten by a shark'. Let's get this going ok.

[Under Pressure scat bit]
Um dah dah day
Um dah dah day
Dee deadass
Dee deadass
That's on god

The DOJ is now removing some Epstein Files documents it has just released.

2026 has kicked off with not a small degree of financial urgency, so if there was ever a time for you - yes, YOU - to employ me to design you a book, good news! Now is that time, and I am your guy.

www.ryanvance.co.uk

No one:

Local news sites every single day during Winter: SNOW IS COMING BTW, LOADS OF IT, AND ITS GONNA BE DANGEROUS AND PROBABLY KILL YOU. LUCKY WE KNOW EXACTLY WHERE EACH FLAKE WILL FALL. YEAH I KNOW WE SAID THIS LAST WEEK BUT THIS TIME ITS REAL

[my alien pal telling his planet about me] yeah he's a friend of the pod

Our podcast is back! Stephen Buchanan is a very funny man and we had a great laugh doing a daft movie quiz with him. Listen if that sounds like your bag.

Film idea: humankind becomes enslaved to a couple from England after their appearance on Ant and Dec's Limitless Win, where they were so successful they won every single penny on Earth

Our podcast is back! Stephen Buchanan is a very funny man and we had a great laugh doing a daft movie quiz with him. Listen if that sounds like your bag.

You know how soup tastes better on the second day. If I had a restaurant I'd have Soup of the YesterDay

Zack Polanski in the middle of a crowdeed DJ dance floor, with loads of people around his with their hands up, smiling looiomg at him as he smiles back. The crowd are bathed in a green light

A 'veterans for reform' event; lots of elderly white people sat in small stand, bathed in light blue light with a massive union jack on one wall

Both of these were taken in the last 24 hours. I'll let you decide which represents the future of politics in this country...

Michah Richards in the Sky Sports studio wearing a blue top, checkered trousers, and big walking boots.

When I have to take the bins out after I've already got in my comfy clothes

1 million people: this thing happened

1 right wing nutter: no it didn't

BBC journalist paid £350k a year: with varying reports, it is impossible to tell what's happened

Minnesota: "School officials say the [5-year-old] child was used as bait. They say [ICE] agents made little Liam knock on the door to ask to be let in in order to see if anyone else was home."

Celebrating with a cheeky Nando’s (and a few glasses of wine) the nurses hailed as ‘heroines’ by JK Rowling for vanquishing the trans zealots The Mail on Sunday18 Jan 2026 By JENNY JOHNSTON

"Trans zealots" - it was one trans woman who'd worked without issue for 4 years until this lot came along