Kierstonator

My favorite genre of Epstein emails are powerful people emailing WITH JEFFREY EPSTEIN about how MeToo has gone too far and the woke mob must be stopped.

Personally I’d like the leader of my country to have no allegations of sexual misconduct whatsoever.

That shouldn’t be too high a bar.

I’m nor saying there’s not totally heinous degenerates on the left.

I’m just saying he’s one of them.

Send ICE to The White House.
They’ll catch so many Degenerates.

You wonder to yourself “what do I look like giving head” and that’s when you realize you have your dads forehead

I don’t care if you want every single undocumented immigrant deported.

There are better ways to do this.

For my next trick, I’ll reveal that under this ICE agents mask is actually a snivelling little bitch

I’m also all for men freezing their spunk & getting reversible vasectomies
🤩🤩

The folks that set the time at the Doomsday clock must be shitting bricks over their job security these days

Exactly

Do these idiot ICE agents realize that 50,000 singing bonus is only given after 5 yrs of service?

And Just like the 2k stimulus checks.
And the 5k DOGE checks.

They are never gonna get that money.

Holy macaroni!
(Due to budget cuts)
Has been replaced by:

*drumroll*

Goshdarn gruel

*a repoman comes in and repos the drum*

Going to wind down by doomscrolling horrible news on TikTok because the symphony of human suffering lulls me to sleep, I guess?

Come warm yourself in the glow of the world on fire

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”
—George Orwell (1984)

It’s easy to divide people; it takes a real leader to unite them.

Apparently, taking naps at your desk is not how to ”sleep your way to the top“.
you can still try tho.

So is DiCaprio gonna break up with the 21st century now that it’s over 25?

Seeing baby formula behind anti theft glass tells me everything I need to know about the priorities of capitalism.

Fun fact: 2025 was the first time in human history that renewable energy production surpassed COAL.

Leading the way in this critical infrastructure boom?

NOT the USA.

“—and what we found will shock you!”

… Will it though?

“Just you wait till this exposes Clinton!”

Cool story bro. Thing is I don’t have a house filled with Bill Clinton merch holding my identity, morality and political ideology together right now.

I just got my hair cut by a woman who has us all beat. She owns the shop but she also works two hours a week bussing at a fancy hotel restaurant so she can get employee deals at fancy hotels.

And two days a week she slings bags for Delta so she can fly wherever she wants for free.

When did sexual trafficking become a partisan issue.

Asking for friend.

I fucking love South Park

That’s great that Trump is trying to get peace in the Middle East. Really. I mean it. Great job.

Still gotta release the Epstein files, tho.

You know who I’m not gonna blame in the radioactive walmart shrimp debacle?

The shrimp.

Growing up I thought calling kids Rug-rats was kinda cute. Little rascals running your carpets ragged.
I was today years old & I finally got the joke. I have regrets.

My junk looks like an open face roast beef sandwich so if you wanna take me out, have an appetite.

you know that friend who takes ten minutes in the bathroom when you go out?

They doesn’t have to pee

They just need a break

R.I.P Jane Goodall