⛧𝖘𝖎𝖓⛧

Bro I was pissed. Had to walk around Milwaukee, WI. In a cut off in -20 degree weather waiting for my bro to leave the concert cuz he wouldn’t check his phone while I was calling him. He had the keys to the car that had my jacket in it

thanks for the input but I ain’t taking advice from someone who looks like they got holes in their socks

So fuckin real.

if you really like that girl, give her a nifty little rock or pebble and say you thought of her when you found it. she will 100% fall in love with you.

Oh to return to the days of old (before “rizz” was created)

Mornin’ Bluesky🌅

(Hopefully a good morning😉)

He’s lucky he’s so cute

*11:59

True

I knowww but he’s just so stupid 😭🖤

Real

The brand marketing teams man… they can’t keep getting away with this

💀

Just saw that my local convenience store has an ad that says “our food has SERIOUS rizz!” and without hesitation I put my gun in my mouth and cried. Guy parked next to me was horrified but idec anymore

it’s not really the fact that you’re living in my crawl space, but more so just that I’d appreciate you helping out around the house. I’m flattered and all that but bills gotta get paid yk?

can’t believe some people are out here smoking weed to self medicate like what is this? High school??? Take 7 or 8 benzo’s, an adderall XR 30mg, and 4 shots of whiskey and slog through the pits of despair like an adult!!

yea so sorry I’m gonna have to cancel on tonight’s plans I just realized I don’t wanna do fucking any of that with any of you :/ you guys have fun tho!

Facts. I know my soul HATES to see me contracting another disease

That groan you make when standing up is actually your soul trying to escape its old, diseased riddled body.

😎😎

life hack:
(While wearing socks)
step in a puddle of water from your stupid fucking cat that thinks his water bowl is a damn swimming pool for some reason even though he KNOWS you fill it up with the good water from the purifier and not just the faucet water

now you have wet socks. Follow for more.

call me a “Worryin’ Walter” all you want but I just don’t think we should be putting people inside of a tank with sharks in it just because they invent stuff let alone televise it :/

One time in high school I was so scared to buy condoms cuz I thought people would judge me so I bought a whole TV just to try and distract everyone from the condoms. Ended up going raw anyway but the TV was pretty cool

got into a pissing competition with a guy and pushed so hard my bladder fell out of my dick. What a mess.

Kinda sad rn… i should smoke some weed so i can be scared on top of it

🫵Make Fortnite good

Threads saw it first but you guys deserve it more so here ya go

Well coffee and a cigarette is still pretty standard here but I feel with the younger generations like millennials and younger gravitate more towards energy drinks

I want to agree with this but it’ll make me look like a yes man. So no, you’re wrong

What a happy morning I’m having 🙃 slept like shit, got a runny nose which pairs sooo well with metal fabrication, and now I’m deprived of nicotine. Everyone better be extra cool today or so help me god