Jeremy

The thing I don’t get is like why do evangelical Christians who are right wing voters deal with the fact they want their bible to rule us all backed by a government that they say that they want to stay the fuck out of people’s personal lives and not be all overly suppressive in all our freedoms.

After cutting up some habaneros, I have to remember not to masturbate later

Lackluster would be a hell of an upgrade when it comes to my love life

coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. i need to be abducted by aliens.

For me, edibles are like everything’s cool and you forget. And then you’re like why is my poodle fucking green. Like wtf. I don’t even own a poodle. And then, tomorrow

a blue aluminum beer bottle sitting on an accent table, cap removed, foam coming out of the opening and starting over the rim

Everything reminds me of her.

How many years does an anxiety attack last

How is any of this real?

My weed dealer is selling eggs now.

I feel as though the last month has felt like a seven year acid trip

Hot Dog… the Movie and chill?

Toxic masculinity is out, the alphas are too busy sucking each other’s dicks this year

He’s gonna tank the stock market tomorrow, isn’t he? All this show and bluster and unstable talk while signing EOs is wild

Honestly this might not be the planet for me

City Zoo Scrambles To Hide Animals Ahead Of Landlord Visit

City Zoo Scrambles To Hide Animals Ahead Of Landlord Visit
theonion.com/city-zo...

If imitation vanilla really is flavored with beaver butt juice, well, than I love eaten ass

According to my Apple Watch, going outside to burn a fatty burned 7 calories

Finally watching Oppenheimer, thoughts so far, great movie and he definitely gets more pussy than I do.

The dumpster fire in me recognizes the disaster in you

Fell asleep in a water bed and had a wet dream. sorry

You know what I need in my life, a double dripped chocolate malted milk ball

Hugs

For the New Year, I’m cutting negative people out of my life and replacing them with bacon.

It’s the doldrums between Xmas and New Year’s. A time when you only wear sweatpants. When you forget what day it is. When you day drink and forego anything resembling a vegetable.