Derrick Williams

I think mine would just say FOOD FOOD FOOD all the time.

Black cat sits in a sink with a vase of roses. The roses were put in the sink because the cat was trying to eat them when they were placed on the table.

Can't wash dishes tonight. The real dish was always you, kitty

Thank you for your service.

Orange cat relaxes on a basket of laundry

Laundry day, see you there, underthings tumbling, wanna say "Love your hair"
Here I go, mumbling
With my freeze ray I will stop the world
With my freeze ray I will
Find the time to find the words to
Tell you how, how you make, make me feel

Man with a paper bag on his head under a street sign that says "Keep Santa Fe Beautiful".

Not on board about potatoes but intrigued about cheese day

I stayed a week in Paris. We rented an apartment that sat over a bakery and a cheese shop. I would go down and speak in my best French for bread and cheese. If by that you mean me licking the glass case and pointing at my mouth and making howing noises.

You're never going to look cool with that haircut but I love you man

Ace Beefslab
Rod Steele
Chad Thundercock
Brock Mantle
Ram Thrustmaster

Khan Noonien Singh (Ricardo Montalban)

You don't say?

Nice, I don't see a pretty glaring spelling error but that's why they sent it to you to correct.

I'm here for ATTICUS and I won't be denied

Ranch is the pus that oozes from Satan's infected butthole. Blue cheese ftw

Not always the kiosks fault. I once saw a cranky old man snarl and hoist a case of Heiniken over his shoulder and march out of a Walmart past security guards, leaving all his other groceries behind after the kiosk called for assistance half a dozen times, no employee to be seen anywhere.

Look, not everybody can be a Jedi Knight, and they're not real the first place.

Cat is deposited in the seat of a baby's fish themed bouncy chair

Life is better where it's wetter

Emily Wilson's The Iliad. Remy the perpetually downbeat poodle in the background.

Got my copy, thanks!

Two cats, a black one and an orange one share a bowl of water.

Thirsty kitties

Tried to turn off the audience and then back on again

I witnessed an older gentleman struggle with the self checkout at Wal Mart. After the 5th time it made him wait for assistance, he snarled, hoisted a flat of Heineken over his shoulder, marched past the guard and out the store. An employee shuffled over to dispose of the groceries he left behind.

Best I can do is five dollars

Best i can do is five dollars

Black cat peers upside down from above at the camera.

Kitty worried about how he'll be fed now.

Startled squirrel standing on its hind legs on a sidewalk peers at the camera.

Who run the world?

Squirrels!

I just work in my car while parked in the company parking lot off the building's wifi.

You are a dolt and your opinions are wrong and you are incapable of rebuttal

I LUB U MILY!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rainbow over pinion forests in the New Mexico countryside

Banjo Country, New Mexico

Orange cat up in a tree.

Fasu on patrol

It's simple to define cool. Take me for example. Now do the opposite.