Alastair Craig

Movie poster to KPop Demon Hunters

Charming premise and animation aside: this movie has my five-year-old daughter memorising K-pop rap lyrics. For this alone, the world is a better place.

Patient, sobbing: But Doctor, I AM Pagliacci!
ChatGPT: Apologies. I didn't realise when recommending Pagliacci's epic show to cure your depression that you were the genius himself. I'm impressed! With regards to your initial question, I can recommend seeing the Great Clown Pagliacci.

Why are people mad at me for advertising George Clooney as the title character for my small town theatre production of #WaitingForGodot? He did everything the role of Godot asked of him.

Proud to be among the last generation of Australian schoolchildren to mispronounce ‘matrix’ (to rhyme with ‘hat tricks’) before the 1999 movie blew our minds and corrected our lexicons.

Holding my daughter close.

Partly out of absolute and unconditional love.

Partly because if she steps more than one metre away I cease to be a wholesome dad wearing a sparkling Elsa hairband in solidarity and immediately become a contextless weirdo in a shopping centre.

Patrick Dempsey as Dr Derek Shepherd in Grey’s Anatomy.

Hugh Jackman as Jean Valjean in Les Miserables

Who’s dreamier:
Greg from Greg’s Anatomy or Les from Les Misérables?

I can live without the flying cars and hoverboards we were promised by 2025. But it’s harder to shake the strange sadness of hitting adulthood and learning the jacuzzi suit is not a real product grown-ups can purchase.
#TheSimpsons

How petty am I?

When a friend said a joke tweet was bad in 2016, I registered the domain “besttweet [dot] online”, had it redirect to said tweet, and committed to a 5+ year bit.

I’m not sure he was ever aware I did it.

Thick black rope of bitumen that has poured out of the roof of a mine shaft, snaking in big loops on the ground. Three miners are next to the seep, showing that it is taller than a person and wider than a leg. It’s not really relevant, but one of the miners is holding onto a chicken egg that they have put on the bitumen flow, because, well, why not??

⚒️🧪 Thick black goop pouring from the earth is a horror often seen in TV shows or movies. Fortunately this is an amazing geological feature, and not a malevolent monster!

This 1956 pic is of a natural bitumen or asphalt seep pouring into a mine shaft in Lettomanoppello, Italy. 🧵

Pic: Cazzini (2018)

I know you’re all eager for tonight’s #DoctorWho finale, but can we please dedicate the next few hours instead to this unreasonably funny moment from the missing 1964 serial “Marco Polo” in which the Doctor gets Ian’s name wrong?

Guess I’m just lucky I watched the celebrated classics like “Robin Hood: Men in Tights” when I did.

Watching Spaceballs (1987) for the first time and wishing I were enjoying it more.

It’s strange that all the Mel Brooks movies I happened to watch as a child are objectively hilarious and timeless, while the ones I’m only getting around to now in my 40s are pretty dull and dated.

This topical 2017 tweet never took off the way I’d hoped. Maybe it can get a fair go here?

If could you please all pretend it’s eight years ago and you’ve just seen the trailer for Super Mario Odyssey, and then reacquaint yourself with the 1995 Simpsons story “Homer³”, this should be a real hoot:

Marilyn Manson "Funky Frankenstein" I snuck into Frankenstein's lab A place I'd heard was very fab But inside it seemed rather drab Until I saw a monster on a slab Lightning struck, the monster rose Wearing funky disco clothes It shook its hips and struck a pose Then said "It's party time, let's go!" [Chorus] Funky Frankenstein alright Frank is getting down tonight Move over Drac-u-la 'Cause Frankentein's a superstar

Weird how Marilyn Manson’s lyrics were controversial in the 90s but don’t seem shocking at all anymore:

YouTube video by matt00092 Rock Rap 'N Roll - voice samples

www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYgT... good

Accidentally said “Shirley” instead of “Siri” and now my phone is stuck in Flying High mode.

[Joke adjusted for Australian, New Zealand, South African, Japanese and Filipino VHS markets.]

"Hey you, get that steel drum out of my - uh - secret Dantooine base."
#Andor

And don’t get me started on the blatant fourth wall breaking.

Advertise your account with Simpsons image

This is the funniest movie production fact I’ve ever read

#DoctorWho is RUINED. This new fellow is making a MOCKERY of the character, never mind the pivot to flashy action. Mark my words: if they don’t return to the old ways, this show will be cancelled and forgotten by 1968.

YouTube video by jawed Me at the zoo

When the first YouTube video was uploaded 20 years ago, audiences were said to have fled from their computer screens, believing real elephant trunks to be barrelling towards them.

Who else cheered in the final #MissionImpossible when he made that impossible landing onto the stage of a Limp Bizkit concert?

“Back in the USSR” is an even better song when you fix your right speaker and realise there’s a guitar solo there, not just 13 long, uncomfortable seconds of Paul breathlessly “yeah”ing and “woo”ing into the void.

#TheBeatles #PaulMcCartney

My great-grandfather actually attended the first public screening of Le Cochon Danseur in 1907. He told me many viewers panicked and fled to the back of the theatre, thinking the pig’s grotesque puppet tongue was really hurtling towards them.

The end of The Great Train Robbery (1903) still holds a quiet power today.

But it’s nowhere near as terrifying or confronting as the final shot of The Dancing Pig (1907).

#silentfilm #earlycinema #1900s

I have the memory of a goldfish. "I remember that goldfish," I say.

A passage from the children’s Star Wars book “Queen of the Empire” “Neither the passengers aboard the Millennium Falcon nor those on the Zorba Express had any way of knowing that at that very moment a large Imperial spaceship was orbiting the planet Ta-tooine. It was the Moffship, the official space vehicle of the Imperial grand moffs-the Imperial governors of the outer regions of space. The grand moffs were holding a secret conference-a Mofference. And leading the secret Moffer-ence was razor-toothed Grand Moff Hissa, whose body had been”

A screenshot from Wookieepedia showing black and white illustration of a table of evil imperial Moffs, one standing at the end with a fist melodramatically raised. Above it, the quote “I bid you all Dark Greetings!”

Another absurd passage from Wookieepedia.com: “The Mofference room was a chamber aboard the Central Committee of Grand Moffs' Moffship in which Mofferences were held. It was large and secluded, and it was accessed by a thick metal door. A Mofference occurred in the Mofference Room in 5 ABY.”

#StarWars fans argue about many things, but on one matter we unanimously agree:

The word “Mofference” should be reintroduced to canon and used in every story.

@morecivilized.bsky.social

Adulthood is accepting that — contrary to ‘90s schoolyard opinion — Ma-Ti was the best Planeteer.

Imagine having the power to spread empathy in this political climate. The kid could change the world.

If only your relentless bullying hadn’t driven him to an early retirement in 1996.

#CaptainPlanet

babe what's wrong, you've hardly been a pig in the city