Evil Odybee 🐝🏳️‍⚧️

you have social anxiety. i get all shy when women are nice to me. we are not the same.

i really don’t understand when uber sends you notifications begging you to use their app. “i know you’re not planning on going anywhere, but pleeeeaaaaase we really want you to”

there’d be far fewer straight women i’ll tell you that

clicking on any website is like playing five nights at freddy’s with how many things you have to click on when you first open the page before you can actually use the website

youtube shorts has ruined the youtube search function, sometimes the stupid fucking app doesn’t give you the option to click “videos” to get rid of shorts and you just can’t get any actual videos after a certain point i hate it so much

bark bark arf arf arf arrrruff arrruff arrruff! (respectfully)

worm: “would you still love me if i was a human?”

Yesterday, I Asked You to write my wedding vows one line at a time. Here are your vows that I am seeing for the first time.

“why can’t i sleep well?” *holds a glorified flashlight 1 inch away from my eyes for 10 hours a day*

texas rode house? 😳 uh, tmi

hey youtube, consider fucking off? damn alright guess i’m canceling youtube premium and finally getting a nebula subscription, jesus christ

fellas, is it gay to be a man and be attracted to men?

megachurches are kinda the mr beast of religion aren’t they

do people who bought hawk tuah shirts still wear them?

guys 😢 we need to STOP 😤 bullying 😡 these poor poor corporations. 🥺 it’s NOT fair 🚫⚖️ to BERATE 🗣️ them about how the prices 💸 of their games 🎮 are “too expensive.” 😔 $70 💰 is NOT 🙅‍♀️ too much for two 2️⃣ games that came out 🚪 15+ years ago. 🗓️ they worked REALLY hard 👷 upscaling ⬆️ the textures, and running the game in gorgeous HD 🤩 and it’s HORRIBLE 🤬 for you 🫵 to diminish 🤏 their work. 😢 it doesn’t matter that both games 🎮 used to 🕚 be $20, 💵 we should be GRATEFUL 🙇 they’re letting us play ▶️ these games at all 😤

call me a gun the way i love to chekhov items on my to-do list

i firmly believe that all trans people are the gender that they identify as. trans women are women, trans men are men, non-binary people are non-binary. an unfortunate consequence of this is that my trans brothers out there DO have to go to jupiter to get more stupider 😔 i don’t make the rules

i’ll never be able to understand straight women, but i can still respect them. love is love ❤️

no, i don’t wanna join your fucking email list, random skincare website, just let me read why my face hurts

MrBeast is 100% gonna run for president someday, he just does everything cause he can

1 elon supporter vs. 20 hungry wolves

1 elon supporter vs. 20 hungry wolves

carbon based life form? more like carbon cringe life form

“deodorant for men ☝️🤓” “deodorant for women ☝️🤓” SHUT THE FUCK UP

it’s kinda insane that i have never once experienced a drifting problem on cheap off brand controllers, but every pair of joycons i’ve had have had one or more problems and my xbox one controller got insane drift after using it for like 10 hours total

“hi, do you have time to talk about our lord and savior jesus christ?” “HOT jesus christ???”

i watch 2 basic skincare guides on youtube and suddenly every video in my recommended is “how to stop being ugly FAST”

why can’t magic just be real? that would be soooooo cool and convenient for me specifically

i hate the suburbs, it’s like if a place was boring

ouch my lips hurt, can you kiss it make it better?