Bill

Trump: don’t take acepitoemponoene

RFK Jr: *moth crawls out of mouth*

A nude man is in the background, only referred to as “the colonel”

Person watching on tv: well if they say so

Gotta be honest, living through the events of a Star Wars opening crawl sucks

labubu? aren't those just injuries in france?

Wait, as in “where’s my”?

Brody King is selling "Abolish ICE" shirts. All proceeds will go to the families that have been impacted.

“i asked chat gpt” “i asked grok” Jeeves would kill you where you stand

Alexander Washingbeard

why is the president the only person testing the limits of his power? everyone should see what they can get away with. what if zookeepers gave helicopters to gorillas? nobody has tried this

Favorite regionally tested but eventually discontinued fast food product?

Some weirdo getting turned on by Lilo and Stitch characters

And they say Bluesky is dying.

This is—it bears repeating—ethnic cleansing and a war crime. It feels utterly pointless to say, and roughly equivalent to screaming into the void, but the United States should not be supporting or providing any aid to a state that has ethnic cleansing as a policy position.

Fair, he is a squirrely dark horse.

Charles Entertainment Cheese, Kool-Aid Man, Big Boy, the Noid. Easy call.

Dexter Jettster Dexter "Dex" Jettster, nicknamed Dexi Jet, was a male Besalisk prospector and diner owner with a colorful background. During the High Republic Era, he was renowned for his hyperspace prospecting and w...

While details are still sparse, I was able to compile everything we know so far about the new pope:

Crazy Harry, you know dude will get shit moving.

How much of the $5000 baby bonus are you allowed to spend on dolls?

Yo, America and world, I apologize for voting for @slotkin.senate.gov It seemed like the thing to do at the time but it is becoming apparent it was a huge mistake. I am sorry.

Presale tickets available now! Link in bio. Presale code EARTH
On October 18th we will be performing live at the WORLD’S LARGEST MASONIC TEMPLE, here in DETROIT! Featuring none other than NELL CAMPBELL, BARRY BOSTWICK, and PATRICIA QUINN, along with a Shadowcast performance by us!

I feel like one unspoken problem with AI is that it’s far more interesting when it sucks and fucks up than it is the 5% of the time it works as a slow, lake-evaporating search engine

linkedin post screenshot: Ken Cheng - I want to connect with you, emotionally) Al will never be able to write like me. Why? Because | am now inserting random sentences into every post to throw off their language learning models. Any Al emulating me will radiator freak yellow horse spout nonsense. 1 wiite all my emails, That's Not My Baby and reports like this to protect my data waffle iron 40% off. 1 suggest all writers and artists do the same Strawberry mango Forklift. The robot nerds will never get the better of Ken Hey can | have whipped cream please? Cheng. We can tuna fish tango foxtrot defeat Al. We just have to talk like this. All. The. Time. Piss on carpet

unfollowing everyone on linkedin except this guy

I'm just a poor country political historian and not some big city media fella, but it *does* seem like a slightly big deal that the leader of the United States presented comically faked "evidence" in the Oval Office to justify his power to disappear ordinary people into a Central American prison?

Yo, grief is fucked man. I forgot how weird and numb you get going through this process.

me: why is there only one set of footprints
Jesus: i can fly check it out
(Jesus flies around)
me:
(Jesus lands)
Jesus: anyway you were saying something about your cancer

CEOs upset about Trump’s tariffs sound like mob bosses shouting “I thought we had a deal!” at the Joker.

We used to have Bob Eggs, Steve Nintendo, Johnny No Plane Crash. No we have no eggs, no Nintendo, many plane crash.

I just saw the new teaser for the new Naked Gun thing and while I was skeptical, the teaser went a long way to stoke my excitement for the movie. I'm pumped about the angle they took with it and the casting I've seen so far. Here's to seeing as many new comedies as there are new horror movies.

Do drug dealers register with the FDA or something? This stupid ass is trying to tariff illegal drug imports. This country is so fucking cooked.