Adam J. Whitlatch 🚀

Respect. 👏

When it’s No King’s Day, but you’re a metalhead. 🤘

Heading the investigation:

“You should write down your dreams and use them in your books!”

Last night, I dreamed I was taking a shower at my parents’ house and Prince knocked on the door because I was taking too damn long.

The ONLY person who finds my dreams fascinating is my therapist. 😅

Every person reading this should go buy two copies of “1984” by George Orwell.

One to read, and one to put in your nearest Little Free Library.

“TikTok’s making you stupid from all that brainrot.”

That’s rich coming from someone who doesn’t know how to start an F-16.

Really, Nintendo?? The Virtual Boy?! Have y’all lost your damn minds???

RFK Jr sounds like a spirit box with dying batteries.

Stoned thoughts: I need a shirt that says, “I’m an English major. Tell me your pronouns.”

Weekend at Bernie’s takes place over Labor Day weekend. Just sayin’.

She told me she has a Daddy kink.

So I smacked her on the head and told her to hold the damn flashlight steady.

The next asshole who calls flipping burgers “an entry-level position” is going to get my fist in an entry-level position to their mouth.

Big Pharma’s gonna have RFK Jr taken out. Calling it now.

The reason the world didn't end in 2012 was because PSY turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

Vaccines are safe and effective. RFK Jr. isn’t.

I was going to try an all almond diet, but that’s just nuts.

RFK Jr looks like the painting in Dorian Gray’s attic.

Alexa! Blast me some of that gangsta shit from the 90s, so I can recite every lyric word for word and remind mothafuckas who they fuckin with!

Why can’t people just let others enjoy things!?!?

Corvettes are gender-affirming care for old men with white hair and broken dicks.

I said what I said.

Dagon is the best Resident Evil movie, and I will die on that hill.

St. Louis, I am in you. 😏

Rest in peace, Ozzy. 🖤🦇

(Hitting keys on my Mac’s keyboard… like an idiot.)

Why the hell isn’t my typewriter worki—D’OH!!! 😣😅

“‘Hatchet’ is a book about a kid who didn't read ‘My Side of the Mountain’ and suffered for it.”

This has to be the greatest literary analysis I’ve ever read. 😂

Barron isn’t his son. Barron is the vessel he plans to transfer his consciousness into.

Calling it now.

Regardless of how I feel about Evangelion, the memes are always top tier. 🤣

Democratic Leaders Stand Real Still In Hopes No One Notices Them WASHINGTON—With the elected officials trying their hardest not to move a muscle, reports confirmed Monday that top Democratic leaders in Congress were standing real still in hopes that the American people wouldn’t notice them. “Don’t make any sudden movements, or they’ll spot us,” Rep. Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY) said out of the corner of his mouth, […]

Democratic Leaders Stand Real Still In Hopes No One Notices Them

theonion.com/democra...

New business cards!! 🥰 Don’t they look slick?
Featuring the beautiful artwork of Puppeteer Lee and @protoguyart.bsky.social!