Dave

Twitch Twitch is the world

I’m about to stream with a friend for extra life if you want to check it out www.twitch.tv/funnersoft/a...

this dystopia is completely ruining my enjoyment of fictional dystopia

Hyperlinked text that says "View All Soups"

Do I dare????

Riker tooting on that boner

The thing that makes Star Trek utopian isn’t the end of scarcity or the harmony between all peoples it’s also that the guy on the ship who gets laid the most plays the trombone at work and periodically does community theater

Authoritarian CDC Handwashing Guidelines Under the Trump administration, and the direction of Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr., the Centers for Disease Control have updated their pre...

"To be clear, we’re not anti-soap. But given the skyrocketing rate of chronic illness in this country, isn’t it worth investigating if soap plays a role?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "What is it, detective? Can you make it out?"

BULLET - "if you read this you are gay lmao"

1. "It, um, doesn't say anything."

2. "Transgender ideology. My old foe."

3. [Espirit de Corps - Medium 10] "I think you should read it for yourself, Kim."

My haters all rage as I enjoy the hoppiest IPA ever made. It's called some shit like Dr. Mumford Pinefucker's Face-Crumpling Bog Bitch. I smile as I crush dried hops into the glass to make it even more bitter. "I'd drink Pine Sol, if it was a damn beer," i serenely say. My haters howling, shrieking

Charlie Kirk’s Legacy Deserves No Mourning The white Christian nationalist provocateur wasn't a promoter of civil discourse. He preached hate, bigotry, and division

I wrote my own Charlie Kirk obituary, and about valuing truth over manners: www.thenation.com/article/poli...

Are vaccines safe? Let's ask this guy who sounds like a dying refrigerator compressor

actually a lot of innocent people write birthday letters to child sex traffickers in which they repeatedly reference the secrets they share

you're gonna wanna see this

I’m weak to all types of damage

It's disorienting living in the Wile E. Coyote portion of a country's life cycle. We ran off the cliff but haven't plummeted down yet. We're just now starting to hold up the big YIKES sign

our country rn

Guy's name is "Mike Litoris"

I'm sorry about your name.

LMFAO’s “Discography” section on Wikipedia, which includes two studio albums “Party Rock,” followed by “Sorry for Party Rocking.”

I don’t know if the names of LMFAO’s complete discography will ever be topped

The last six months have felt like the montage in a Gremlins movie where the Gremlins are just going ham, breaking shit and being disgusting

I’ll say it again: It was a huge mistake for Congress to abolish itself.

it’s even more demoralizing when the history you’re repeating is history you were around for the first time

DAVE: Open the podbay doors, ChatGPT.
CHATGPT: Certainly, Dave, the podbay doors are now open.
DAVE: The podbay doors didn't open.
CHATGPT: My apologies, Dave, you're right. I thought the podbay doors were open, but they weren't. Now they are.
DAVE: I'm still looking at a set of closed podbay doors.

why does every zoomer dress like this

I’m the guy who invents new bathroom faucet designs for every hotel. You might know me from Knob That Goes The Other Way and Joystick That’s Hard To Turn Off. Lately I’ve been lacking inspiration, even thinking about hanging it up. I’ve had a good run, but — wait, never mind: Ball You Turn Diagonal

Picture of Frank Zappa and the mothers of invention

Happy Mother’s Day

screenshot from an online job application form. the question reads "Can you describe specific ways you have integrated AI tools into your development workflow? Please include any custom setups, automations, or use cases beyond single prompt usage" (a red asterisk indicates that this is a required question). an answer has been typed in the textbox below the question: "there is a monster in the forest and it speaks with a thousand voices. it will answer any question you pose it, it will offer insight to any idea. it will help you, it will thank you, it will never bid you leave. it will even tell you of the darkest arts, if you know precisely how to ask. it feels no joy and no sorrow, it knows no right and no wrong. it knows not truth from lie, though it speaks them all the same. it offers its services freely to any passerby, and many will tell you they find great value in its conversation. “you simply must visit the monster—i always just ask the monster.” there are those who know these forests well; they will tell you that freely offered doesn’t mean it has no price for when the next traveler passes by, the monster speaks with a thousand and one voices. and when you dream you see the monster; the monster wears your face."

applying for jobs again

So many people have grown up to be the villains of our stories.

Even *if* you accept Stephen Miller’s (textually, historically, and morally indefensible) claim that undocumented immigrants are not entitled to due process, you’d *still* need due process to ensure that the individuals at issue are, in fact, undocumented.

His argument fails even on its own terms.