Kristen Kusterer

At this point, should we just assume that if you were in Get Him to the Greek you’re a human nightmare? Like, has Rose Byrne secretly killed a guy

RIP to Val Kilmer, the man who once tickled Lou Reed, who needed it.

More of this Cory Booker shit. MORE OF IT. I don’t care if it seems silly, MORE DISRUPTION.

We’re living in an attention economy, and meaningful spectacle does matter.

Be a thorn. Be a grit. Be a stick in the spokes when they’re running over people. BE ANNOYING.

I used the phrase “upset the apple cart” in a meeting today and no one knew what I was talking about, and then suddenly I didn’t either

boardroom desk carved from stone with an immense roughly hewn boulder suspended above it in a menacing fashion By The Davani Group, Seattle, WA - high end fabricators

how it feels lately doing my little tasks & confronting my minor responsibilities

The urge to quit my job and open a store called Basic Ts for Basic Bs

A car on the highway with the license plate BOOURNS”

I was saying

Man it’s a rush when the universe offers up something so hyper-specifically tailored to your particular cocktail of interests

Screaming that “How Bad Do You Want Me” sounds like a Taylor Swift song is “Only You” erasure.

Wake up babe Lady Gaga is putting out bangers again, time to get serious about budgeting

Shower thought: is the “We’re in the middle of a hostile government takeover” song guy the same guy as the “you make a brother plant, a baby brother plant” song guy?

Also if you sang both of those TikTok sounds in your head, let’s be friends

Guys are we watching Paradise? Because I just watched episode 7 and let me tell you I am not ok.

I haven’t been this stressed out by an episode of tv since Breaking Bad.

The idea that anyone would pick a fight with Boston in Feb is hilarious to me. Do you know what mental state New England is in in FEBRUARY?? It’s been 8 degrees with stone-gray skies for literal months, this town is hanging on by a THREAD. We’ll start a bloodbath over a parking spot. Good luck.

Sure therapy’s great, but have you tried revisiting Jagged Little Pill in your 40s

For the love of Pete, no survey is going to tell you how to make art.

Make the thing! Humans will human.

I have never before felt compelled to watch Monday morning play-by-play analysis of a halftime show performance, but here we are

Between the disembodied dancing tongues and the human skin cowboy hat, there is far too much body horror in these Super Bowl spots

Now is the time!

It took a horrible air tragedy for me to find out our secretary of transportation is fucking Sean from the Real World: Boston

Man, blue teams can’t win anything anymore.

Whenever I start to feel anxious I immediately have another coffee and scroll through the worst news imaginable on my phone and omg it does not help at all

It’s 8:54am and I’m calling it: I am not gonna be at my best today.

Just opened TikTok for the first time today. First video I was shown was Trump’s speech over stock Americana footage — the kind of video that’s NEVER crossed my FYP. The second: Elon’s salute.

It’s been, what, 4 hours? This is going to be a nightmare.

My kid provided the following suggestions for non-phone activities today, if anyone needs them:

Go sledding
Write a song
Have a party
Play with a dog
Read a book
Watch Transformers
Listen to a song
Go outside (sledding optional)

So, lots to do today, gonna go get started.

This is the Hereditary of Sunday scaries

TikTok sucking up to Drump in its error message is so grim. Everything is giving “dear leader” right now, and tomorrow hasn’t even happened yet.

So, it’ll be a cold day in hell

The Nintendo Switch is hands down one of the best-designed objects, gaming or otherwise, of the last few decades. It’s incredible how right they got it, in almost every way.

So yes I am pretty dang excited about the Switch 2, but mostly relieved they didn’t do anything drastic to it.

Life hack? I no longer need a period tracker app, I just take notice of when NatGeo IG reels make me burst into tears

If you need me I’ll be over here manually saving down all my favorite gardening TikToks, like some digital squirrel hoarding my lil knowledge nuts for the coming winter