Karma Cunt Supreme

You’re telling me I got hotties in my phone trying to treat me right?? I feel like the luckiest slut on the planet right now!

Or that I am unworthy of it… an afterthought… I don’t wanna be an afterthought anymore. I want to be cherished and understood, because I know my worth. And it isn’t the bullshit that continues to try and be fed to me.

How can one truly accept love if we’ve never known its touch? How can one trust it when its come at the price of our own autonomy? I do not wish to be ruled by fear any longer. But every single time I open up to the possibility of trying I’m shut out. Made to feel like I’m asking for too much

Just had an epiphany as to why I’m so quick to run/cut it off when I’m dating. Like an abused animal I’ve been holding anticipation that once I allow myself to be vulnerable enough for someone to sit with me through this process I fear they may not give me grace through it. Or even use it against me

overthink things I’ve said worried I upset you in some way. Once I find grousing I know I’m being to hard on myself. But my brain in programmed this way. It was a safety mechanism developed by walking on eggshells around my father and his explosive anger. Any little tiny thing could set him off

It’s not easy having CPTSD having debilitating moments of guilt and self hatred because you swirling down a spiral of shame. Overthinking every little interaction I have. That’s why I’m often a quiet person if I don’t m on you well. Because I’ll hang onto every little vibe shift

I already had this epiphany before but finally have to words to fully explain it

Which is hard thinking I was with someone for 5 years who didn’t love me… who put me down. Made me feel like I was never enough. Is similar ways my father made me feel as a child. Repeated patterns of trauma. Sometimes we accept this behavior because we were told as children this is love… ❤️‍🩹

Since listening to Bell Hooks - All About Love. I question if I was ever really loved? I was cared for, yes. But love? Without true trust for one another there is no love… and he never really trusted me… so no I don’t think I’ve experienced live before.

& once you finally get into healthy dating dynamic it’s gonna feel off. Different. Because it’s not something you’ve experienced before. Like a hit dog, you might expect a hidden motive. Sit with those feelings. Has this person given a reason not to trust? Don’t take past trauma out on new partners

It’s okay to forgive yourself for once accepting abusive partners. It’s okay to realize you thought that behavior was normal as a result of your childhood trauma. But once you notice that you have to heal those parts of yourself or you repeat the pattern. It’s harder said than done

Your soul still talks to me bb don’t think I’m unaware of it. You visited in my dreams recently. You’ve been thinking about how you wanted to marry me haven’t you? But you’re engaged to someone else aren’t you?

gn

This ‼️

I seriously hate that I know I have PCOS but I can’t be diagnosed with it! Because my hormones are okay and I haven’t had a cyst. Yet I don’t have regular periods and my body is showing signs of insulin resistance by the way my body is carrying fat in the last 3 years. It’s absolutely frustrating

a pixelated drawing of spider-man covering his ears with his hands ALT: a pixelated drawing of spider-man covering his ears with his hands

My intuition about people continues to be correct. My SUS detector went off the moment I met that girl and she was in fact trouble

Wishing her then best, thank you for sharing your story with me. I hope you get to the place soon where you can fully live freely and authentically to who you are 💖

It’s such a beautiful thing to share a moment with a complete stranger flirty banter and a deep conversation that you know won’t go further than that moment. That you may never see them again. Just two people purely enjoying that temporary moment of each other’s company

Seeing someone you do not fuck with anymore at the club is an interesting kid of awkwardness. Especially when you’re trying to avoid eye contact with each other

Lmao my song choices totally give my mood away ughhhhh I love being a slut 😩😮‍💨

If the session got me listening to Kehlani it was memorable 😮‍💨😌

Beat some ass (consensually) still got it 😎 I love being a very empathetic top it allows be to truly gauge the pain level and comfort of my bottom with body language alone

Seeing all these videos with the line “do you need that?” In tiktok hella confused. I found through context clues that my feed was trying to push pro anorexia content to me. I was on tumblr in the 2010s there’s nothing you can shove in my face I haven’t seen. I will not relapse. Fuck you

Sometimes the only control we have in life is to give up control completely

It’s gonna be a future base summer. Already got the playlist started

Thanks to re-listening to Flume again I’m in a future base phase rn. Can’t stop listening to it! The textures used gahhhh scratches the right spots in my brain

I hate I’m multiple stereotypes wrapped into one human 😭

My pussy sweet like cherry cola 🍒 or whatever Lana Del Rey said

It was about culture and unity. It was about history with a vampire spin. But obviously that flew over your head. From Dusk Til Dawn can be seen as an influence but it’s absolutely NOT the same movie.

YAWHN - if you don’t understand the cultural significance of Sinners then fine but that was such a white boy take that lacked intersectionality and failed to see that this movie was deeper then just a retelling of another story