ms. cowboy

What is the charge?! Eating a meal???? A succulent McDonald’s meal?!?!

he got one subtweet from judas and said okay time to pack it up

very cooked (my queue looks identical to this)

the difference between you and me is that i am always correct no matter what

have you ever seen a construction worker actually working?? me neither

what did dick van just call me

twitter is so funny to me bc wdym you're typing 'unalive' and 'b!tch' like i didn't just see a whole bare gooch three scrolls ago

CLOCK ITTT

god bless let's aim for medium rare

i personally think i deserve more followers. but it's Okay. jesus only had 12 disciples to Start with

santa just told me i'm "on the naughty list"? i'm killing him tonight. fuck ass beard

A rap battle is two men writing poems about each other

should i stop vaping or continue to live

hereditary obesity??? ho was you born at 35 pounds

brittany broski you are sooooo obsessed with me you wanna be my friend soooo baddddd 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

i'm really not normal about dress to impress and i'm tired of hiding my obsession

we are 4 away. prepare yourselves (my acct is a flop and won't happen any time soon)

look for a zipper that is a fucking Human

I FORGOT BILLIE EILISH IN MY INTRO POST NO FUCK

"where is the joke??? no words are misspelled how do i know this a joke???" shhh im wrapping u in this burrito foil. i will eat u at a later time. When it is convenient

i'm betting on you, girl on FIRE 💜

once i get to 24 followers i will put you guys in the hunger games simulator and see who lives

been thinking of reinventing something. maybe the wheel? idk just spitballing here

hello sharks, today i am asking we be mutuals.

i like boygenius, lucy dacus, julien baker, clairo, chappell roan, renee rapp, the beatles, being a whimsical silly beautiful creature, shitposting, and the oxford comma

#promosky #mutuals

it worked. get over here right now

what i love abt this app is that there's still gen xers but they're the fun silly kind not the death to queers kind

what do you call a bluesky tweet. this isn't a joke what am i birthing on this app when i put pen to paper

optimist: the cup is half full

pessimist: the cup is half empty

me: guys that plane is getting kind of close to the tower

Jesus only starting off with 12 followers is proof of what a lowbie can go on to accomplish

If you're my friend you don't need a therapist, a personal trainer, or a financial advisor. I will give you an extremely inadequate version of all those services for free