Kit Sekelsky

Other cities' Uber drivers: step it up! The Ubers of Toledo all smell DIVINE

My favorite thing about 2025 is companies realizing that they can Wicked-code their promotions simply by using green and pink. No need for licensing. No copyright infringement. Yes.

It's about time I admit it: I grew up thinking the theme to Family Matters started out: "It's a rare condition, in this damn age..."

The ONLY awkward thing about eating at a restaurant alone is when you have to use the restroom and you're worried the staff will think you ran out on your bill.

Gotta love how my phone thinks my 2023 Toyota Camry is a "new USB accessory" every time I plug it in. Sure, buddy.

It's the year 2025 and I still can't stop thinking about Velvet Buzzsaw.

Cool French lit teacher spins his chair around and sits. "I guess you could say... The Phantom of the Opera was the ORIGINAL incel."

A 3.75 out of 5 star review for The Phantom of the Opera by Gaston Leroux: "You know what you promised me, Erik. No more murders!" "He felt, no doubt, that there are limits to a joke. Especially when it is so expensive. And when the commissary of police has been informed." Just banger line after banger line in this thing.

In this edition of "ksek writes StoryGraph reviews like it's Letterboxd"

I am a monster.

Last night I went on a deep dive to find the Are You Afraid of the Dark? episode that gave 10 year-old me an existential crisis. Then I discovered the episode literally inspired M. Night to make the Sixth Sense, which is the best thing I'm going to learn all week.

It’s so pathetic how my friends love the Sopranos cuz it’s like bro the Sopranos wouldn’t like you AT ALL.

Mary Todd Lincoln is the new Colonel Sanders.

I resent that Direct TV ad campaign that implies that Kumail Nanjiani has ever NOT been hot since he's been on TV.

Our local Taco Bell has started using a voice chat thing to take orders at the drive-thru. Today, after the bot informed me that they were out of Baja Blast, an exasperated human cut in to correct it. SCORE ONE FOR HUMANITY (and also I got my Baja Blast)

Ice delivered via pneumatic tubes from the central ice location

Free idea for hotels: continental breakfast, but late at night

I'm like a person that only smokes when they drink except that I only watch Friends when I'm at a hotel.

A good way to identify a trivia nerd is to mention Chuck E. Cheese and see how quickly they mention that the E stands for Entertainment.

Bands get "tribute acts". Solo artists get "impersonators". Discuss.

If Donald Trump ever finds out that there's a national park called Badlands, he will rename it Greatlands and I'm one hundred percent certain of this.

In high school I was "not like other girls" because I didn't "live for drama". Turns out, "other girls" were learning to "resolve conflict" and "process complex emotions". Now I'm an adult who is "not good at those things".

Why's it never "you and me FOR the world"???

AHAB (All Harpoonists Are Bad)

Are you a trivia person? Registration is currently open for the 13th edition of my postal-based trivia competition, The Inkling. That's right, I mail you questions, and you mail me answers. In this, the most 21st of centuries! inklingtrivia.com/product/inkl...

Look, I was as skeptical as anyone about Aaron Sorkin directing Boss Baby 3. But his use of the "crawl and bawl" really won me over.

Paint the assigned bottle black. Shake it up. Open it up for the spray 'n reveal.

Two bottles of Faygo pop - Bubble Pop (pink) and Super Pop (blue)

The newest flavors of Faygo were created for Juggalo gender reveals and you can't convince me otherwise.

"Something wonderful is about to happen"
As I finish reading the bumper sticker, the car it's attached to turns the wrong way down a one-way street.

Wonderful.

I think that, 25 years ago, Elon made a bet that he could completely ruin a single letter of the alphabet.

It's also a swan, not a goose. I'm going for adjacent jokes all around!