William Gerrard

On Twitter, someone replied to this post with an AI image of my favorite coffee & spaghetti shop, where people drink unhealthily large amounts of cappuccino and eat spaghetti with the fork handle in their mouths

The best thing about my favorite coffee & spaghetti shop is the way the barista lovingly prepares my spaghetti with his bare hands

On Twitter, someone replied to this post with an AI image of my favorite coffee & spaghetti shop, where people drink unhealthily large amounts of cappuccino and eat spaghetti with the fork handle in their mouths

Modern version of “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God”

Dogs, if we’re being perfectly honest

2026: Starbucks AI Invents ‘MochaHitler’ Beverage

My 5yo son colored this primal feast image for my birthday yesterday

Telling the characters in my screenplay I’m responsible for all the good things that happen to them, while all the bad things are the work of my asshole co-writer “Fred,” who totally exists 😄 and whom I’m powerless to stop 😂 so, don’t blame me, blame “Fred!” 🤣

God (feat. The Devil)

You wake up in your bedroom on a space station to find your long-dead wife sitting across from you. How do you open?

Hey bro, I saw that last decision you made at the margin, and I noticed that the additional benefit didn’t exceed the additional cost. You ok, bro?

Really? She proved that external objects exist outside of our representations of them? I must have missed that.

That window of time after a new stimulus is introduced but before the central nervous system habituates to it is always really something, isn’t it

“‘While it’s normal to some extent for our nation’s leaders to not be playing with a full deck,’ the statement concluded, ‘it’s just plain crazy to put an A1 nut boy like Mr. Kennedy in charge of public health, rather than in the booby hatch where he belongs.’”

#NewYorkerCartoonCaptionContest

Unquestioning fealty to the President under penalty of law is the new punk rock

“lol. lmao,”

Unquestioning fealty to the President under penalty of law is the new punk rock

Paramount Announces Next Star Trek Film Will Establish Charlie Kirk Ancestry For Captain James T. Kirk

Paramount Announces Next Star Trek Film Will Establish Charlie Kirk Ancestry For Captain James T. Kirk

Studying for my psychopomp’s license so that I can ferry my homies across the river Acheron to the underworld

Studying for my psychopomp’s license so that I can ferry my homies across the river Acheron to the underworld

"B-b-but what am I supposed to do with all this rope?"

"It's a versatile craft material. Make a scratching post for your cat, weave it into a heavy-duty outdoor rug—be creative!"

*grumbles*

"Sorry, fellas—Day of the Rope's been canceled. Looks like the kid was one of ours."

*collective groan from rope-toting mob*

*instrumental version of Leonard Cohen’s ‘The Future’ plays on stadium organ*

12 Monkeys now appears to have been overly optimistic in positing that rulers in the future would want to stop a deadly virus

This sounds like the Law & Order intro but for a drama about horse dentists

Important to keep in mind that it may be some combination of substances that causes one to be like RFK Jr., rather than any one particular product, like the Joker’s Smilex campaign in the 1989 Batman

Every single substance RFK Jr. consumes on a regular basis should be pulled from the market immediately and studied for potential links to being like RFK Jr.