Witts (COMMS OPEN)

Show me how you draw armour! 🛡️
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I love an excuse to make armor as much as I love an excuse to show off 💝

You’re a darling ❤️

Show me how you draw armour! 🛡️

Getting really into history can be isolating sometimes. What I imagine at the word “Viking” is so completely different from what the average person imagines, that it can be kinda hard to bridge the gap in conversation. Because I know it’s wildly different from what I imagined 10 or even 5 years ago.

My grand vizier is bewitching me, my eunuch is trying to poison me, and don’t even get me started on my useless snivelling majordomo.

A German Schwarzer Reiter from the 1580's, in a full body shot and a headshot. He has mid-length hair with a receding hairline, and a waxed moustache. His armour is acid-blackened and he carries a thrusting sword and a wheellock pistol.

Meet Hans!
He's a 1580's mercenary Schwarzer Reiter, and he can't stand French gendarmes. Whether he's Catholic or Protestant depends on who's paying him.
Credit for the character concept goes to @bear-man03.bsky.social.
#artsky #history

I think I will have the Kentucky-fried chicken.

KFC employee at the till: Excellent choice.

who would've guessed that people would get weird with a "socially acceptable slur"

Malnutrition? More like mall nutrition! Gimme a soft pretzel and the wettest sloppiest slice of pepperoni zza that Sbarro’s has to offer

Bill Nighy the Science Gighy

Jon Snow from George R. R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire. He wears a mail shirt and chausses, covered by a black leather-covered corrazina, black leather greaves, and jack chains and gauntlets, and a black woollen cloak fastened with a bronze brooch.

Jon Snow
#asoiaf

PNW my beloved

Family Guy Yourself walked so Picrew could run

crusty fisherman: "I dunno bud, I comprehend that horror just fine"

me: "...And the ichor?"

fisherman, smacking lips: "It's a bit sour"

"Fate often saves an undoomed man when his courage prevails"

Beowulf, hero of the Weder Geats. In that age of the world, no man was kinder, stronger, more honorable, or more worthy of praise.

Friend of the Scyldingas. Killer of Grendel, enemy of the swedes, and dragonslayer.

Absolutely. I was able to get my hands on a copy of LOTR Illustrated Edition, and it's a real treat.

This rendering is terrific!

Fuckin’ fantastic

A 10th century Norseman with shoulder length blond hair and a light brown beard. He has a nasal helm on his head, and carries a spear, shield, knife, and lobe-pommel sword.

10th century Viking

Shaved away my patchy 3-week beard and am down to the moustache, celtmaxxing once more

Human artists!

Use one piece to convince people to follow you!

Reminds me of German Fleischsalat

“If you don’t like podcasts hosted by quirky horny gross dumb-dumbs, then DON’T listen to Spudge Buddies!”
Ok then I won’t ig

This might just be a thing with podcast ads in general tbf

Man, it must be tough making ads for DND podcasts. They NEVER sound appealing. Even the ones I do actually listen to, I wouldn’t have started them if I just heard their ads.

"Bisexuals always make Pride about themselves"

Yeah, you stupid bitch. We do.

We're supposed to.

It's Pride.

We're supposed to celebrate all queer identities, especially our own.

If you don't like that you can fuck off.

And even when it was popular, I feel like it was used more like an instrument than as a coverup for bad vocals.

A knight in mid-15th century German armour, with a fluted Kastenbrust cuirass and a bicoque helmet. The knight carries a longsword in one hand and a banner of the Inclusion pride flag in the other, and is wearing a rainbow-patterned houppelande with dagged hems underneath the cuirass.

Happy Pride Month!
Given everything going on right now, I think this year's is especially important. Never take your rights for granted. Never rest on "It wouldn't happen here." Love extravagantly, and know no shame.
#pride2025 #art #queerart

Ezio Auditore da Firenze from the Assassin’s Creed series, dressed in 1490’s Florentine garb. He wears joined hose patterned in red and yellow, and a patterned slashed doublet over a billowy white shirt. He has a longsword and dagger hanging from his belt. In other configurations, he wears a lucco (a renaissance florentine overgarment) that can function as a cloak and hide armour beneath when he wears it. The armour in question is a brigandine and a short sleeveless mail shirt. His signature white hood can be worn as a chaperon to look less conspicuous.

What if Ezio Auditore was from actual 1490’s Florence? (breakdown in the alt text)
#assassinscreed #art #characterdesign