Emma Rose

Any favorite autism books? Have you read Girl Unmasked? That's my favorite.

I devoured books as a kid! As a teenager struggled more with the concentration and energy side of it and have never been able to really re-engage the hobby and grieved it honestly - until last year when I finally got put on ADHD meds! Now I'm reading again and it's amazing!!

I detest that when I struggle with burn out, depression etc everyone else's goal for me seems to be "how can we get you back to work". Like can I find a way to actually want to be alive before we talk about work or is that all my life is worth 🤷‍♀️

I feel you! If I was able to work more than I can and have financial security I would. I had to reduce to a shift a week. If people don't think we'd prefer to be well and able to support ourselves and even thrive, they are truly ignorant. Little me had aspirations I'll never get close to 😔

When I actually allowed myself to feel anger towards that source instead of just myself, I realized I made room within myself for some respect, not gonna say love yet but just for something other than the loathing and disgust I've been living with for myself.

when people do me wrong. I guess it's a trauma thing. I always hold people up high, even when they hurt me, I've directed it all inwards and done myself so damage that I nearly OD'd last week. But it's okay to be mad at the people who hurt you. It's got to be healthier than self hatred.

It's been my default to blame myself whenever something goes wrong. I people please, apologize and pretend I was the one at fault and grovel. Today I realized how sad it is that it's easier for me to be angry at myself than someone who did the wrong thing and hurt me. That I can actually be mad 2/

Today I learned a new form of self compassion; holding other people accountable. I've been blaming myself for something for weeks, loathing myself and spiralling into depression. I wanted to believe the other side didn't do anything wrong and as usual it was my fault 1/

Yeah as of yet none of the pills they've tried me on have helped (and have made it worse!) so feels like they're just throwing mud and hoping something eventually sticks 😭

😔 unfortunately. I hate that I'm basically just told to accept it. When it gives you those thoughts for a week or so every month it feels terminal honestly. Just waiting for the month that beats me 🤷‍♀️

Hope you're as safe as you can be matt.

Ugh very true, the photo op is all that matters to so many.

Oh yes. I have PMDD and was told it was quite normal for women to feel suicidal during PMS every month 🙃 until I was over 30 and someone was finally like every month? No that's NOT normal PMS. Women's health has come a ways but still a long way to go!

This is why I get so frustrated with the teachers who are like well they should have written plans (IEP etc). So many kids go undiagnosed with health conditions. I wasn't diagnosed autistic/ADHD until my 30s. Traumatized by school because our voices don't matter if we don't have the documents 🤷‍♀️

Isn't it sad how little we're taught about our own bodies?

Everything I read this week. Thought I'd share for #worldbookday

I don't understand why people say things they don't mean. But it hurts and it just feels cruel.

Damn so true. Pre-diagnosis I used to think the reason I was so much more tired than everyone else was because I lived two lives, the intense rehearsal and the intense real thing that never went to plan anyway 🙃

The autistic experience of overapologising because you’ve been taught to feel guilt and shame for having feelings, needs and behaviours that neurotypical people don’t understand

#AuDHD #autism #disability

Terrifying numbers there. UK-specific stats? Though I'm sure it's very similar here in Oz.

I think it's so sad because there are people who still struggle to talk about any digestive struggles and don't get diagnosed or not until it's very serious. So expecting that if a child has a health issue they'll be diagnosed and have the paperwork is just incredibly ignorant right!?

This is what I always say too. Teachers on reddit are vicious. Some children won't even know they have any digestive issues so how can they disclose 🤷‍♀️ How is allowing kids to go to the bathroom up for debate? It's just completely mind-blowing.

System is broken honestly when that's the way it works. End of the day, it's the individual who pays with their whole quality of life, side effects of medications we never needed so physical and mental health and financial costs for the systems inability to diagnose autism earlier. Change is needed.

Other side to this is I've been in the mental health system since I was 13, over 20 years. My folks spent 10s of thousands for me to get misdiagnosed and wrongly treated repeatedly. It's kinda fucked that people are then expected to shell out even more money to correct the mistakes made by others.

Totally agree. I was extremely lucky to get access to a free assessment by pure chance. The people in my mental health team happened to know a team that it seems very few get access to. I never begrudge anyone who self ids.

Also your name is ace 😂😂

Yeah I had something similar and my problem was the novelty wore off quickly and now it just sits there unused like so many things 😕

sarcasm for sure!!

Well he'd prefer them dead than autistic 🤷‍♀️

Also when people say that online interactions aren't real. Unless specifically talking about bots, it actually is because plenty of people saying terrible things are real. Yes, echo chambers exist but I hate when people dismiss that the stuff people say online isn't real so "don't worry about it"!

This already feels like a losing fight and the worst is yet to come. I can't connect, I can't trust. The only "resources" don't help. I find out again how little "# mental health matters" actually means to some people. I don't know how many times I can fight the same fight with no hope. That's it.