At the time, I remember thinking this was weird and creepy, wondering if this was normal behavior or not? Like, they’re his EX girlfriend’s kids, why does he still have their photo and why is he putting them on the wall like they’re his own kids?

I know this because DURING a “formal session” (teletherapy as opposed to the many hours of texting required), he was putting these photos of these girls on the wall next to the computer.

There are many things I can say about this, but one is that when he eventually moved out to his “bachelor pad,” he took photos of her daughters with him.

Shortly after I started working with the psychologist that my account is about, his girlfriend of 9 years broke up with him while she was way for healthcare.

He was/is doing MUCH better than I was/am … but I quickly found myself unable to talk about my own financial struggles and being in the position of having to listen to HIS financial complaints, while I was in MUCH worse shape especially at the end of the time with him

He would occasionally throw something in like he would be eating rice and beans because he could get that from a local restaurant and it was cheap, but he had a full time day job as well as a private practice.

He also talked about getting a new motor for one of his 2 vehicles, buying this and that off Craigslist and other things, how much he spent on one of his vehicles ($20k I believe it was), etc. He also went on a 4 WEEK vacation, & another vacation in just the 10 months that I had contact with him

All while also telling me he owned a condo in DC (while renting outside of DC), which he bought with the money he got when his dad died.

MANY times he would tell me that he can’t talk about money because it gives him extreme anxiety

He told me frequently that he was medicated (Gabapentin) for anxiety because of his student loan debt

But … I soon found out that I basically wasn’t allowed to talk about the ongoing stress and even previous trauma from not having money, from living in extreme poverty, etc because it was very triggering for him.

When I started with the psychologist that my account is about, I was starting to really struggle financially because of the mental health struggles I was having.

This was part of why I was wanting to get into therapy (among other reasons).

Turns out, they may have had good reason to not like him, considering he likely was exhibiting the same behavior in his personal life that he was with me, in his professional life.

When we had the initial consult (the free one), the psychologist my account is about told he needed money bc he needed to pay for kids' college-"they aren't even MY kids, they don't even like me!"

I still get panicked and have flashbacks if my current psychologist happens to look at his phone or something like that. Sends me RIGHT back to this moment.

I was never able to handle teletherapy again with him. It was too much. I was only able to talk with him on the phone, while curled up in a ball, in the corner of my bedroom. I didn’t feel safe. I felt too vulnerable and threatened.

We eventually met again via video for a few minutes but I was no longer able to even manage that, so I asked to switch to phone.

but there was no consideration of the fact that my extreme abandonment issues, as his patient, wasn’t considered to be the “price of working with ME.” 

Also, a realization that he had other patients he had made dependent on him in the same way he made me dependent on him.

This all made me (still does) feel like that patient’s dog was more important than me. It’s interesting that him doing this to me was “the price of working with” him,...

He told me the patient’s dog was “stumbling around” and “they were looking at the dog’s gums so [he] had to step in.” He said, “Some of my patients contact me when their dog is unwell, instead of a vet,” and also commented that if the dog was to pass away, his patient would have to go inpatient.

Then, a few minutes after this happened, this text exchange happened …

I remember it vividly, he did that and I closed the screen, curled up in a ball, and sobbed, shaking, rocking, just really not well at all. I wasn’t able to manage the extremely inconsistent appointments he had and this was a massive deal for me.

I was MUCH more easily triggered, had bigger trauma responses, and overall just really not doing well.

This day, him doing this, sent me spiraling - somewhat predictably, to be honest.

It was/is well known that I have significant abandonment issues and many things this psychologist did, intentionally (he said he was doing it intentionally, inc in text), made the abandonment issues MUCH worse.

“I have a patient in crisis, I have to go.” He then just closed the screen out and was gone.

By this time, I was already VERY unwell, been under his control for several months, barely functioning, spiraling out of control.

We had just started a “formal session” which was what he called the teletherapy sessions (which was different than the texting required of me often 5-7 hours a day, 7 days a week), and he looked at his phone which he often did, then quickly said, ...

One of the events with the psychologist my account is about, that I frequently have flashbacks about is one that happened in Jan 2023.

He shouldn’t have given advice, probably at all, but definitely not when my dog was under the care of a vet. This was the 2nd or 3rd episode that my dog had of this, in just a few months so it was not a minor thing, it was not a small thing, & certainly not a thing for a psychologist to be handling

Because he was so sick, my dog wasn’t eating at all. Again, he was under the strict care of the vet, but this psychologist was always quick to give all sorts of advice.

If you’ve ever had a dog with diarrhea and vomiting, you know that you’re on high alert for the next sound so you can quickly get them outside. This psychologist was always on my case about how I reacted or responded to things, and I was always wrong for it.

When you’ve a dog with diarrhea for days (weeks!), HOW do you not let it impact your mood? When you don’t know what’s going on, doing medications, vet visits, costing you thousands of dollars … HOW DOES THIS NOT IMPACT YOUR MOOD!?