the fool

its filthy, disgusting, so ugly
im sure

im ugly, disgusting, and filthy
for sure

i do NOT have DID by the way dont listen to the other guy

having DID is so fucking embarrassing ngl sometimes i just pretend i dont have it even though i have hard copy proof papers of the diagnosis but like those arent actually real

why i take an edible

it feels like when i was poisinging myself with lithium m so confused i dont kjnow whats happening i cant make sense of anything im so badly dissociated i cant speak right i dont feel real nothing feels reeal it hasnt been this bad in so loong

i wanna cry rn i feel so numb but at the same time im just panicking in my head about how much ive been eating and am about to eat and i dont remember anything at all but i wanna cry j dont know whats happening

im so upset actually i dont know why ive been so dissociated lately i keep just. checking out entirely and just have blank spots in my memory and dont know whats happening and keep losing the day

also the fact that he cant seem to Win and keeps getting his ass beat by everyone around him

the religious grooming, the cult like references, the religious trauma and guilt, the desire to be good and be praised for following the rules to a T, the inability to make decisions for himself and developing such a dependency on gopher wood to lead him all of it he is so important to me

im gonna throw up he means so much to me nobody gets me like he gets me his lore and characters means so much to me

i just keep checking out

ive been dissociating so badly the last 2 days and i dont know why

and it doesnt help that people censor words that bypass my muted words so i have to add a dozen variations of censored words to my list

like im not ignoring or blocking these things out because i find them annoying or stupid or whatever tf you want to say my head just goes to a mind numbing static and then im gone when i see even the slightest thing

p'orn bots go tf away

i know that this isn't something to feel ashamed of but i feel so like guilty about how many things genuinely do trigger me i feel like i ruin things or am Ignoring topics that should be talked about but god i just cant so many things make me panic and then dissociate

dissociating so bad right now i dont know why but its so bad i dont know whats happening im so confused

a cartoon smiley face with a speech bubble saying holy . ALT: a cartoon smiley face with a speech bubble saying holy .

wait you might be onto something here maybe i am subconsciously punishing myself for experiencing a negative bad emotion

i get pissed then immediately decide i'll just starve like what is the logic here

i really gotta stop my immediate reaction of "fine then im not going to eat" whenever im mad

literally about to have a panic attack /hj dont fucking touch me istg leave me alone

sometimes i just remember that my father is a pastor and that he isn't really one of the good ones either

sorry my friend was telling me how much weight she's lost and now i wanna die

im about to crash the fuck out

theres so much to lose if i want to get back to where i was and right now its looking impossible to do

crying over my weight and my body and how im never going to get back to where i was an how everyone else seems to be able to lose weight except me and i feel like the heaviest person in the world and nothing is working i just cant lose weight no matter what i do i put all this one and now its stuck

simplyplural is actually really starting to piss me off it takes like 5 minutes to even open it and it doesnt show the history its been like this for 2 days now im so pissed

i need leigh..........

staring at this lasagna like i'm about to enter battle. i told myself i was going to eat more. however. i currently have zero appetite. which means that if i start to eat this there is the potential for me to start thinking too much about it and then make myself nauseous.

why is simplyplural not working again what the fuck i know its not my internet or anything because everything else is working fine