Chad Floyd

Turned on the Braves game just to see how their fence-sitting asses were doing. Up 11-3. Neat!

Subsequently gave up 8 consecutive hits, the last of which was a 3 run homer, now tied 11-11.

Glad Liberty Media essentially said they can’t trade players because they’ll lose gate revenue. Well done.

Pardon my video not knowing what the hell to do with light.

Just got my backup TE hurt on a hospital ball, decided shitty backup OKG was running read option the rest of the game.

First play, whole defense follows the running back, he hits the griddy at the 15 yard line.

I will give my life for my shitty (only) backup QB.

Letting my absolute trooper of a backup QB get some reps throwing in the second half.

My god, is he ass.

But of the 7 QBs who have had the opportunity to transfer, he’s the only one who hasn’t. He just wants to win a championship. (

Starting HB: “I’m a severe injury risk!”

Me: “you’re a severe transfer risk too. Are you hurt, or injured?”

(His backup is going for 16 a carry with my backup OL of scrubs and walk-ons)

*running back and power OL after running for a combined 42 yards against Notre Dame and Oregon*

“We’re leaving!”

Me: “how about you smoke the whole carton of Washington State?”

(It’s halftime)

@dpalm66.bsky.social

“Real or fake musical” on Celebrity Jeopardy @celebrityhottub.bsky.social @shutdownfullcast.bsky.social

This reads like a threat

@dpalm66.bsky.social I only have so much love to give and it’s all concentrated in these two men from Virginia

🎵Lights go down and you never know
I got cucked at the Coldplay show🎵

Lifelong Braves fan- the way the fanbase gravitates to, umm, players who look like them is pretty obvious.

Except these same fans hate Matt Olson, the only other quality hitter on the team, because he’s not Freddie Freeman (but still quite good!)

Mets get Acuña out for the first time in three attempts and their fans cheered like they just won the pennant.

Do I think Jerry Seinfeld himself is funny? not particularly

do I think this chick saw I had a famous quote from his show and uninitiated all contact (as if I changed it in her favor?) 100%

Women, stop being so weird. It ain’t all about you.

Dating is the seventh circle of hell, ep. 168:

Appropriately-aged woman asked my Instagram handle (private btw) after we made a couple of Seinfeld jokes. (Per her profile saying she loves Seinfeld quotes)

I have a George quote as my profile.

Apparently she sees this and…removes me on Hinge?

Not a critique, I was in CA for Labor Day Weekend in 2018 and my CFB viewing experience was ideal

But also my OCD sets a timer while my ADD ignores the context.

Although if I had a shared credit card account my S/O would totally assume this was porn

Would’ve gone Producer level but realized everything was going to be posted in CT.

Otherwise, any audio material from @celebrityhottub.bsky.social and @stevengodfrey.bsky.social is an absolute no-brainer for me.

Proof? “are the Cowboys on TV too much” analysis and sarcasm blended 🧑🏻‍🍳 😘

Just described a UI issue with Docusign as “dickhole surgery without anesthesia” to a client as why I couldn’t create a new document pertinent to a transaction on the fly.

He understood almost too well.

The Rockies are now 4-0 when playing on an 8-game losing streak.

Still 6-50 otherwise.

Don’t fuck with the Rockies if they’ve spent the last 72 innings taking L’s

Maybe one of the greatest baseball stats I’ve ever heard courtesy of @cespedesbbq.bsky.social

The Rockies are 3-0 when playing on an 8-game losing streak.

They’re 6-50 otherwise.

“Let’s suffocate these fuckers tonight,” he said, ripping off a strip of duct tape.

*applies duct tape to a particularly pesky pair of plantar warts*

the current president is disappearing Americans into the fucking jungle. Try some perspective ffs

Not a movie but the storyline in Brooklyn 9-9 where they fake Pimento’s death and Rosa shows emotion gets me

Just said “here’s an opinion: lose my fucking number” to a data collection survey company who has called me 13 times this week and keeps dodging my spam filters, and really didn’t quite feel like I landed that one

It’s not corruption unless it comes from the Corruption region of France, otherwise it’s just sparkling grift

I had the most wonderful flight home from Denver. I met the nicest young man who sat next to me. He offered to put my bag in the overhead compartment and helped me with my tray. He was always polite, saying "yes ma’am" or "no ma’am." Anyone would be proud to have him as a son or grandson—so polite. People walking by were saying congratulations, great job, or even taking pictures. I turned and asked him, “Who am I sitting next to?” I looked at his Jaguar pants, smiled, and asked, “Are you an athlete?” He smiled and said, “I’m Travis. Yes, I was drafted by the Jags.” I already told my sons I want his jersey. He’s so humble and down-to-earth—I would have never guessed he was a professional athlete. JACKSONVILLE JAGS, you did good! I will be buying tickets. United Airlines, thank you for my seat assignment!

This is too wholesome

The amount of earth-shattering truth bombs @ncrabbithole.com drops in a preamble to a story about a urinal is why he’s the best.

I keep about five dollars in quarters in my console because any protected left turn onto or off of an interstate will have a panhandler, and being a windows down guy it’s easier to slip $1.50 than have an awkward discussion.

But the outright sandwich rejection after requesting a sandwich? Nah.

Dude, had the unmitigated gall to say, as I left, “they have an ATM in there!”

To which the kindest response I could muster was “kiss my ass and have a nice day”