Anime Dad

I’ve been having to post this way too often lately

Death, a cow skeleton wearing a black cloak, plants a claw machine full of cow tools. After grabbing a an amorphous lump with an odd protrusion death exclaims, "Lump-with-handle? Is Prongler even in this thing?"

better luck next time

AP CALLED IT FOR MAMDANI AND THEY STARTED PLAYING THE PINA COLADA SONG

one time pitcher john denny knocked reggie jackson down with a brushback pitch. next time up reggie blasted a moonshot home run off him. denny kept chirping at him as he rounded the bases and wouldn't stop, so reggie stepped on home, charged the mound and beat his ass. andrew cuomo is john denny

the voters have spoken and they love being trans and threatening to shoot republicans in the head.

sorry I don't understand the ballgame hype can u explain it to me like a satellite that has developed sentience in a future 15751 years from now where humans no longer die of old age

"Torment Nexus" is often used to describe the kind of negative experiences you can have with baseball games, like the one we’re all living inside of right now

Blaseball

Welp

q: why did the outfielders raise their arms during this play?

a: according to the ancient scrolls in which the rules of baseball were found, if a ball lands and doesn't bounce that ball is declared god. the players were worshipping god. i doubt there will be a game 7 or any further baseball seasons

We're each of us alone, to be sure. What can you do but hold your hand out in the dark?

Eriko Christy from ILLBLEED cover in blood and wounded. Background is an edited screencap from the game's theme park coated in blood as well. Seriously, play IllBLEED it's one of the most insane horror games of all time. You'll never see another game like it I'm afraid. (Check content warnings of course.) #ILLBLEED #ErikoChristy #SEGA #Dreamcast

The Final Girl, Eriko!
🩸🪓👁️🎂🎞️
Do yourself a favor and play ILLBLEED!!
You'll puke with pleasure!!

The Dodgers told me Yesavage keeps striking out their batters so I asked how many batters they have and they said they just go to the dugout and get a new batter afterwards so I said it sounds like they're just feeding batters to Yesavage and then Jason Bateman started crying.

r/CrazyIdeas cheesemaster66 writes: Inject gorilla blood into you're vains Would make you stronger i think Average_Bob_Semple replies You think wrong cheesemaster66 replies SILENCE! i can already feel the golirras blood corsing through my vains ... AHHH IM POWERING UPPP Average_Bob_Semple replies I like this guy

"In less than 36 hours since we announced that we will be sending payments to disabled SNAP recipients in the South—$100 to individuals and $250 to households—we have received more than 12,400 applications, totaling $2.7 million in requests." - they have to close the form tomorrow... no way to cover

Gary Larson dropping Cow Tools in 1982

Homer in hell. Satan, preparing to force-feed Homer donuts for all of eternity, says So, you like baseball, eh? Well, we have all the baseball in the world!

The Joe Buck tweet is exactly ten years (and now 7 minutes) old

i don't want them to optimize caves of qud. i want them to go backwards. i want it to take eight minutes to load because it's computing how much a frog hates me

dyslexic version of tracy chapman 🤝🏼 fishing instructor teaching me how to catch fish that are very far from the shoreline
"you gotta cast far"

A notes app screenshot of a list - the book titles read in order: Jepp strikes back, Jill strikes back, Shadow curse: the reversal, and True Reversal

I had a dream I wrote an extremely popular book series and these were the titles

just got my flu and covid shots at walgreens today so they gave me two free band-aids. i’ve shaken them down for so many free band-aids at this point. i’m so good at cleaning them out in this manner that i have been invited to become a “made man” by the mafia

Venture Cats: Enter the Dungeon Pt.1 Comic & Art Book Venture Cats is about Cat Kids playing a fantasy TTRPG called Catadoon—think D&D, but furrier. Comic Book and companion Art Book!

Hey, my buddies @chriswhartonart.bsky.social and Gabe Dunston are making an incredibly cute and fun book about cats playing D&D and they need your help! Check em out here! www.kickstarter.com/projects/chr...

dont understand all the hype around The Brothers Karamazov. there's no progression system at all. who am i supposed to identify with if none of the characters is improving their stats and acquiring better equipment

Every Canadian quote-tweeting this Vlad photo like it’s the @stefanheck.bsky.social tarot card tweet

MegaMan battle network dialog box showing a very old-looking man saying "I'm 30 years old"

norman "my name is not norman but still i" rockwell's painting "freedom of speech" except i made the guy fucked up, and he's doing a Beam Blast. and also everyone around him looks more worried than usual

BAH! Enough talk! My <Beam Blast> shall make short work of you!

"I let my dog smoke because I dont like him" - Jared Leto

A randomly generated meme