Andrew Coleman Francis

Saw my new favorite bumper sticker today

Real talk — they somehow also threw a significant proportion of my friends out of work

Tonight’s dumb napkin cartoon…

reskeet with a tweet you still think about

We need to build some real social stigma around being afraid of cities. You don't have to like them or live there, but a politics built this strongly around watching TV and going "ewww" is embarrassing, and people should be embarrassed by it. It's like "fear of werewolves" being your top issue.

Instead of throwing a Subway sandwich at the cops, they should have thrown Jared Fogle's "before" pants at them.

大きなお尻。がんぼるぞい。

translation:
I have a large buttocks.

Eternal September is ending...

But Schneider is correct, and Patrick Goldstein has not yet won a Pulitzer Prize. Therefore, Goldstein is not qualified to complain that Columbia financed “Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo” while passing on the opportunity to participate in “Million Dollar Baby,” “Ray,” “The Aviator,” “Sideways” and “Finding Neverland.” As chance would have it, I have won the Pulitzer Prize, and so I am qualified. Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks.

Happy 20th Anniversary to Roger Ebert nuking Rob Schneider from orbit www.rogerebert.com/reviews/deuc...

Hugh Grant wearing a dark hoodie, white baseball cap. Holding keys in one hand. With his other hand he is throwing a plastic container of baked beans directly at the camera.

I see your "guy throwing a sandwich at the FBI" and I raise you "Hugh Grant throwing baked beans at the paparazzi."

Not the Onion.

It’s sort of the same thing when people talk about young men being radicalized by Joe Rogan when the median Rogan listener is 46

I feel like there’s two “25 years ago”s and one of them is the year 2000 where we had like computers and the internet and email and shit and the other one “25 years ago” is a mixture of 1978 and somewhere around 1800

We stopped expanding the House in the 1920s, decided the Supreme Court should freeze in the 1930s, added the last states in the 1950s, amended the Constitution only once in the last fifty years.

The USA and its government continued to grow, but almost all that growth came in the executive branch.

imagining "Big Balls Beatdown" in a middle-school social studies textbook

“It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me, but it can restrain him from lynching me” is one of MLK’s more underrated quotes because it’s a very good observation about the limits of politics.

people out there thinking asimov's three laws of robotics are actually real

Grok was suspended

Must’ve threatened someone with a race crime

one of the biggest arguments against AI dependence is that the strongest proponents of its use have become visibly *dumber* in the last few years.

it's pretty frustrating how republicans can just spew endless lies about city life with zero repercussions but the moment a dem disparages a pickup truck it's open season

The funniest part is that his entire driving force for every decision he’s made in the last ten years is to become the most liked, most popular little birthday boy of all time. And it’s literally made him despised around the world.

Pointing out how safe DC by showing the low crime rates isn’t going to convince conservatives because “people breaking the actual law” isn’t what they mean by “crime”. To them, “crime” includes merely seeing black people, unhoused people, and anyone else the bigots clutch pearls about as “crime”

trump has had two goals his entire life, rape girls and incarcerate innocent black people. he's rarely veered from those two goals and at this point absolutely everyone who supports him, either consciously or not, wants the same two things

the drop in violent crime in baltimore in recent years is one of the most astonishing successes in crime reduction in us history

"We've invented a new form of travel called OPEN FTL. It's amazing, we're going to MAKE you use it, give us all your money now." "Is it fast?" "No, it's probably worse than normal travel." "You mean it ISN'T faster than light?" "Absolutely not and honestly we don't think FTL is a super useful term."

The UK is about to ban access to Wikipedia, just remember this bill was originally pitched as a means to protect kids from accessing porn.

Wesley Willis voice:

🎶I whooped Big Balls' ass
I whooped Big Balls' ass
I whooped Big Balls' ass
I whooped Big Balls' ass
I whooped Big Balls' ass
I whooped... Big Balls' asd🎶

So his Reichstag Fire is BIG BALLS gettin his ass whooped by two Marylanders?

DC statehood is now an imperative. No more dicking around. Next Dem majority, get it done immediately.

I've lived in and around DC for most of the past 30 years. What Trump is describing bears no resemblance to the city in which I work and have lived.