jex ✨

I would have fully believed you hopped on a flight when you saw the forecast. I'm so glad this happened to you specifically as a solar fan

accidently wasted a wish today
was thinking how I haven't seen any black widows this season, and it's just about the right time for them Then I saw one on the sidewalk. I scared her and she waved her arms at me. could have had world peace, sorry everyone

my mom put a hairbrush in there once. the fridge is hungry

thinking about that time I locked my keys inside my car 9 times in one year
one time while it was running (my current car does not let you do that)

I stopped doing that but the amount of times I am able to find the specific hat I am looking for is 0/100

some kind of funko ponzi scheme??

someone's failed etsy shop of mass producing the most atrocious quote shirts went out of business and is now at savers.
extra disappointing if they thought they were"on trend" and they made/ordered these themselves instead of dropshipping like everyone on etsy who does sell that crap

Vates male

Pseudovates male

Alangularis mantis male

not even just different species but genus!!!
spot the difference level easy (because this is the reference paper)
the creatures I have in front of me look like all three combined 😭

well when they named a new genus "pseudovates" would you be surprised that I'm having a very difficult time discerning them from the vates.
faux vates alert!!! you wish you had the lateral margins of the pronotum expanded and non-sinuous femurs. trying to be cool with your abdominal stripes wtfe.

I see vids of double proposals and think wow that's so cute aww jealous

but nothing beats the intense giddy evil joy I have that I planned an extremely obvious proposal and completely took him by surprise. I got away with it 😈 and that is way more satisfying tbh megamind over here mwahaha

got so excited when I saw someone use the term crojo thinking it was a new kind of bujo but unfortunately it's like mojo and I'm extremely disappointed

okay that sounds adorable, I'll allow it

for what??? what is happening 😭 haha
the one on 7200S in midvale

I have so many questions regarding the amount of fake lemons at savers today??? yeah a few bags of grapes, some with mixed fruit sure. But the number of bags containing ONLY fake lemons? of the faux fruit easily 75% lemons. why? trending? do they mean something??? was this one person's collection?

in the winter do werewolves need to take time off work to make sure they're home before the full moon is up? it was so pretty on my drive but imagine I just wolf out behind the wheel?? it's gonna get dark at like 5pm ya know

i am in rage and I feel like a rat trapped in a cage

oh, 😭😂

this week I helped marcus rescue a bee on the sidewalk, giving it water and putting it in the sun. I dropped my phone when I went to take a picture and it squished the bee. Cried for an hour.

literally the next day my boss has me go out collecting pollinators to kill in the freezer? life moves fast

I cooked the egg separate and ripped the cheese apart to put it in at the end. turned out perfect

gonna try putting an egg in a grilled cheese

it's NOT an egg and cheese sandwich those are way different

stop signs are actually a game of chicken

OH those are frightening

actually a huge relief not carving a pumpkin this year

also chop suey and a hard cider goes a long way

the biggest hack to cooking ever is to eat something else while you're cooking. Don't have the giant dinner you're cooking be the meal you look forward to, you'll be hungry and tired and if's going to suck physically and you'll make bad seasoning choices in a bad mood. Eat something else to fuel.

silk tofu recipies suck so much

a block of silken tofu with some turmeric, salt and pepper as scrambled egg?? tastes nothing like egg? just the texture, which is the WORST part?

pasta sauce except it's just silk tofu blended with some spices. It's nasty. Everyone is lying to me that it's good.

I just scared a poor ol man so bad walking up the steps to my apartment. I live right above him. For some reason the stairwell is pitch black, like not a single light on. I heard him coming, but he didn't hear me until I turned the corner and he jumped. Could have killed a man today. I'm sorrryyyy

drowning in ennui
despondency

a saturnine cynic
misanthropic

voracious yearning
itching for bewitchment

today's poem brought to you by Merriam webster's "synonyms"

how can I ever decide which vampire love interest is best without them kissing each other so I can really compare them. Damon (vamp diaries) Eric (true blood) get over here I need to conduct some research for educational purposes.

now the question is, did Jacob feel an unusual pull toward Edward on his wedding day, maybe have some dreams that night he doesn't understand

so, those who carry eggs, are born with their lifetime supply. Canonically, Jacob says that he felt renaissance's pull in utero... so back in the first two movies Jacob is not ever attracted to Bella but her... in this essay I-