wretched knight

im currently fighting demons and by demons i mean someone elses mania

lower monthly payment* whatever

i actually do need the fed to lower rates so i can take out a favorable loan to pay off my debt at a lower monthly interest rate but i cant say that cuz i want people richer than me to suffer

yes of course you can luv

i never check notifications on this account im sorry 😭

i need to vent but i dont want to put anyone out by making them listen to me complain about something dumb >:(

ok just lemme bite you real fast

maybe i have rabies and everyone knows but me 🦇

so you know eventually i just stopped trying to connect with people here. ive managed to make a couple real friendships but for the most part ive always been an outsider and its hard not feeling a little bitter about it

like id ask people i had good individual rapport with if i could join their discords and would be told no. this was before dms so that was kinda the only way to make friends and be a part of the community here. no idea wtf i did wrong for that to happen but it really did suck a lot

i wound up making some trans friends irl so its less frustrating these days but it does still bother me that when i joined bluesky i got excluded from trans clusters for reasons ive never understood. like nobody is obligated to like me but it feels weird!

i want to leave work early to see if my antidepressants are finally in the mail or if im waiting another day for them

thank you bb, i think so too but i am still very lonely

ouch jesus

i know its the depression talking but i am really fucking lonely and wondering if theres something wrong with me that makes it so hard to connect with people. i just need a hug from someone who loves me yaknow

Venmo - @hunterjoza Cashapp - $draculaholybible Paypal - @jzcjzc

I only have $150 left for the rest of the month after having to pay $250 for gov. fees on friday 😭 Anything rly rly helps 🙏🏻🐾

Next month I’m done paying off the $9000 i lost on my lease after being assaulted :)

Roommate says he needs extra $500 in rent from me in sept tho :( i can’t rly say no :(

polaroids from my besties bday i have the hottest friends

hi taco bella hadid

arf!

new glasses

just frustrated i guess at how often i get asked "hows the love life". i dont have one! please ask me about something else! ask about my plants or what books im reading or anything im proud of lately. ask if i took any cute selfies or something. but those questions are reserved for romantic partners

plus when i do connect with someone they never want to commit to anything more than fwb, which again is fine, but im getting tired of that dynamic and would rather read a book than get disappointed again. and it hurts being reminded how sad other people view that instead of celebrating my peace

but i dont connect with people for some reason and dating has always been hard for me and it makes me a whole lot more miserable chasing romance when i cant find it than it does being single. i dont particularly dislike being alone i just hate being reminded that im weird for it

it is so so fucking alienating being the only person i know who doesnt date because thats all most people care about and is the standard you get held up to. unless youre asexual and aromantic being single and not dating is some failing of your character instead of the least interesting thing about u

one of my friends who just got married asked about my love life and if i planned on getting married and when i said i wasnt dating and just focusing on myself she was like thats whats most important anyway! like no clearly not cuz you were invested in my dating habits five seconds ago

im just so happy i got out of the closet 😭