becky - a tortured poet

exvangelical girlhood is blasting “the black dog” and screaming “i hope it’s shitty in the black dog” as you drive by the church that tore your heart out when you were at your most earnest and sure.

notice the general mood of the timeline? how everyone is in a good mood and there’s a lot less misery and dooming? how there’s a lot of “we’re going to beat these assholes”?

anyway that’s why these events are important

taylor. calzones are just savory pies! this is right in your wheelhouse.

I AM A SWIFTIE I KNOW THE LORE

but if we can’t have some different perspectives on art and the way it can be perceived or universally applied we are cooked.

i think that one of the reasons why taylor’s newest album was so hotly contested is bc no one knows how to chill out anymore.

i implied that part of all too well could also describe john mayer in a tiktok and i am being vilified in the town square.

when white allyship goes to far on the performative moralization of whiteness in digital activism

this is an article i wrote that i’m really proud of and i put a lot of work into it and careful thought and i have nowhere with an audience to share it.

so it would be cool if you read it!

sorry but i’m not impressed !!! that isn’t profound. or a reasonable explanation for the last two years (plus the 75 before it)

christians will do anything but take accountability

it took christians two years and an authoritarian president to finally admit we shouldn’t unilaterally back israel.

it wasn’t the genocide we’ve watched live or the belief in the basic humanity of all people - they just finally realized this israel and biblical israel are different.

listen. i just need taylor to not tour this album, ok? bc from when she was an opener act singing “tim mcgraw” & “picture to burn” to the Eras Tour - my tradition has been to go with my dad

i already had to endure “vigilante shit” live with him. i cannot do “wood”. i just can’t

and more!!

like. i’m going insane. this book changed me and you’re telling me that bc jk rowling played a role in creating a universe that inspired the work that inspired this book im transphobic?? absolutely not.

some quotes (mild spoilers) from the book i’m being attacked for reading by keyboard warriors on tiktok. like. PLEASE. be fucking serious.

omg i would love a v2.0!!!! your recs were impeccable for this OG list.

being canceled on tiktok for saying supporting a queer author of color is not transphobic simply bc her newly published book was harry potter fanfic once upon a time.

i am not long for social media i fear…bc WHAT.

i would but as a CT resident i simply cannot allow myself to engage in horror in my state bc i get too freaked out by it and it’ll ruin the fun new england vibes i love in the fall 😂

i think i read too much fantasy that can border on some horror for me to be into it in a film outside of this month but i do LOVE these movies

no set schedule except that i made sure to everything before friday the 13th so i could watch friday the 13th on the 13th and then watched the rest after that as i felt like it.

if anyone cares to join, i watched this list in this order starting oct 1st and i ended the month with a second view of Psycho on halloween.

its a good time and as someone who is neither a halloween lover or horror movie watcher outside of these 31 days - it helped me not have seasonal FOMO

it is october 1st which means i will once again be going through this immaculate list of horror films provided by @masmus.bsky.social

i asked him last year what he would recommend for someone who grew up without being allowed horror flicks.

as this is the 2nd year, it is now established tradition

something no one talks about is the crippling anxiety of relying on your parents as an adult and listening to them plan retirement and knowing that they won’t be around forever and also they can’t retire as soon as they want because of you.

i should be prepping an in-law suit. not extending work

and as someone who used to have a vibrant social life and a booming social circle - i am acutely aware of how much my illness has taken from me. and i just can’t bring myself to be in a good mood. my mom is annoyed i won’t force it.

i am ready for bed.

(my mom says she was joking but she was only sort of joking in that she kept her tone light. she brought home chick fil a and some cookies and i was excited for it)

but im struggling bc overall, including social media, less than 10 people have reached out.

my brother didn’t even wish me a happy birthday as he left for work this evening and i spent all day alone and my mom came home and told me not to be a bitch 😇

what a great day !!!!

omg thank you!!! you and @andreaholme.bsky.social have made my whole morning with this!! thank you for remembering me 🫶🏻

everything feels like this huge personal attack. or that i’m a pathetic child for wishing my birthday was fun. that im a burden for existing.

my body physically aches from the intensity of the emotions. i cry so much over nothing.

i hate how cruel the people who abused me were on my birthday. the intentional torture they’d inflict by telling my friends they had plans with me for my birthday. but not making plans. so that i was left alone.

my birthday is one of my least favorite days bc i am on edge so much.

my birthday is tomorrow and i am cripplingly depressed at the state of my life and my health.

what a time to be alive.

my dad got a new job so there was a huge pay gap which made things tight. and i know it was bad timing. but my health is so bad right now that i can’t do anything strenuous.

so i’ll spend my birthday alone in bed and that is depressing af.

my birthday is tomorrow. after going on a cruise i did not expect my parents to do anything extra. i know that was expensive and im grateful i got to go.

but i figured we’d still go out to dinner - me and them. and then have cake this weekend with my siblings. but it’s “not a good week”

laughing at the boot on how satire, jokes, and late-night fury have tried — again and again — to keep power honest

i’ve had this half drafted for about a week but it took a tweet from a friend to give my mind that creative push to get it finished off.

and then i bought internet on a cruise to send it.

read it here:

going through some extensive medical testing currently - haven’t said much bc honestly it’s overwhelming and i feel miserable.

anyways. thanks to my dad for these moments of levity in the hard stuff 😂😂