tioLechuga

Conservative Man Proudly Frightened Of Everything FLOWER MOUND, TX—Condemning the “woke left” for what he called the “modern evisceration of masculinity,” local conservative man Hank Daniels confirmed Monday that he was never going to stop being prou...

Conservative Man Proudly Frightened Of Everything

😂 true!

that’s just ironic

that’s crazy.

you were already disgusted, tbf

this tracks

every vote matters

i don’t understand

🎂

caveman: omg Lucy, did you see that glowing rock?

Lucy: totally weird. you should totally shoot them.

caveman: fr fr

anyone else expect those Segway things to become something much bigger than mall cop transport??!?

so not a beach kinda person. gotcha

there once was a man from Nantussy

you’re a cop? i knew it.

such a good opening

but mama you joe a wood

i smell like books

do unto others as tho you understand what unto even means.

for someone who’s life has been all about words, I have none to give.

have you tried turning it off, and then never turning it on again ever?

*demonetize

I have never, never even once, put a USB port in upside down.

DMs open.

you good, babe?

you haven’t touched your midnight fruity pebbles.

❄️

*certified

yeah but who won?

oof. that hurts and you don’t have coffee to comfort you.

sorry for your loss.