worm-powered rock

All of my widgets are gadget coded and I don’t care for that frankly

they say never post anything on the Internet that you don’t want read out loud in court but personally I think the judge seems smart and kind and I really like what they did with their robes today, it really suits them

doctor: have you noticed any changes to mood since starting T?
Me: no it’s pretty standard except art has a whole extra emotional dimension that was previously only accessible to me when I was on enough estrogen to forcefem a chud gymbro

Wish we were in the timeline where I could wear a “don’t tread on me I’ll cum” shirt as a joke without making ppl worry

how dare my body change shape after months and months of taking hrt specifically to make it change shape 😠

you’re in her dms, i’m in her google search results for “optometrists in my area” we are not the same

we’re gonna need a bigger blorbo

whenever my cat cleans her butthole she makes squish noises previously only found in tentacle porn

in a tough spot bc a cutie is sending me lewds but I can’t open them at work and when I told her she immediately started sending even more lewds just to frustrate me

most of the time I’m really cool and normal but then sometimes I can feel every leg hair individually and I’m still cool and normal and also unable to hear because my hair is too loud

Cursed thought: seltzer bong

Air compressor? I hardly air know her

never have I ever felt more mom’s spaghetti than when my voice breaks

Halfway through carving it, go clean up some cat vomit and when you come back make it real clear you’re not as focused on the task

when I die put “this take is under construction” on my grave

Trail mix is just durable salad

For me the most difficult part of transitioning has been suppressing the urge to address the men at work as “giiiiiirl”

Listening to guys at work talk politics from my cubicle trying not to breathe too loud like a fuckin gazelle but instead of figuring out if a lion is coming I’m figuring out if they think Biden was replaced by a robot

are you telling me a shrimp refried these beans

A TikTok bit that goes:
[cis girl talking to camera while walking]: I too once thought the male loneliness epidemic wasn’t real. Then I caught male loneliness.

i'm your weird art friend's weird art friend

Me, after making out with my bf just to feel something: I’m exhibiting sensory seeking behaviors!

The thing about me is that I watched Eliot Page use a hamburger phone to schedule a pregnancy test in Juno and that moment really informed most of my aesthetic and behavioral decisions ever since

Screenshot of Indeed messages. Recruiter: Hi, do you have your OSHA? me: I do not have an OSHA certificate Recruiter: Oh no, I told my boss you have your OSHA. Is it possible to get it? [it] takes up to a week. me: I would be willing to get it after a job offer had been extended

today in "jobs that turned out to be scams" and/or "sounds like a you problem"

Using headphones as earmuffs so I don’t have to roll down my beanie like a NERD

How could you tell

Being queer is hard because you’ll date someone named like aelwyn. And then you’ll break up and date someone else and then break up. And then the second person will chang their name to aelwyn. And then when you’re talking about them with your friends you have to say shit like “second aelwyn”.

What does it mean if you open a tube of caulk and a bunch of white liquid sprays out

"vote for democrats they'll protect trans people"
democrats: trans people don't have kitchen tables tho 🤷‍♀️

Hey another thing

Not being able to show up until you’re somewhat stable

Is good community management and let no one tell you different

A lot of people new to things will demand your urgency

If you do not have it say no but be HONEST