apothy ✧˖°

apothy's forget-me-not: no matter how much i work on myself, i am always going to eventually go back to square one. im worthless and a burden to the world. im too ill to be loved and there's no point in me doing literally anything bcs i give up without a fight.

thx y'all have a great day ❤️

it's not caring for your health or appearance November y'all 🔥🔥 i look MUSTY but can't bring myself to give a shit 🔥🔥 matter of fact i wish i was **** 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

honestly I think I should give up on my dream of living alone and having a stable life in general bcs the cost of living crisis is already getting our asses too 💀💀 like let's not be ambitious because I'm not a resilient person and i will *** ****** if things get too hard

much better tbh 🫶🫶 I'm so over it, im happy that the 2nd antibiotic seems to be working well 🙏🙏

I feel like im stuck in a permanent semi-recov state 😭😭 i can eat anything and have 2-3 meals a day with an occasional snack BUT im back to obsessing over the sc4le and bcing in every reflective goddamn surface

got my new phone set up 😼😼 now i gotta pay it off and we're good to go!!!!! im loving it already asdfgghj

im so out of it & feel horrible about my body today
i just want to go home and sleep :((

hi dolly!!!!!!! i hope you have a wonderful day <3
i was given more antibiotics yesterday 😖😖 my immune system is so shot im catching sniffles left and right ugh

i g41ned a bit but after seeing my mom's old logs from like 5 years ago when she wrote down our w31ghts i gotta say irdm 😭😭😭 how tf was i THAT F4T back then 😭😭 never going back to that place jfc

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Hello I'm Nny, i lost my food stamps & I'm pretty fucking scared rn. I'm on SSI & live in HUD housing so I basically have nothing to fill the gap. Anything helps, I'll be thankful just for shares & likes if that's all you can give. Thank you!
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can this month end already i feel like I've been sick for the entirety of october 😭😭

prommy im working on getting this under control 🙏🙏

haiiiiiiii :3 how's everyone doing today??
im scared as hell of my sample test results so im trying to distract myself as much as possible :')) ill be making a focaccia for my coworkers after my therapy appointment!!

fun update: im pissing bl00d AGAIN. BROTHER

I'll be keeping this one as a backup!! Somehow I took good care of it and it's still perfectly usable, albeit a bit slow and laggy lol

after 5+ years im finally getting a new phone im so excited asfghsfj
my current one still works but since i can afford a new one it's time for a change ‼️‼️

spilling my guts to my therapist about me just giving up about ever finding love because I genuinely don't think I'll ever be mentally well enough to love or be loved in return didn't help me to come to any other conclusions but at least i could vent about it lol

goo morning everyone!! how is everyone doing?? :3
im FINALLY feeling better 😭😭 psychically the worst week of this year for me for sure
back at my lw tho in the middle of my shark week...still concerned about that 💀💀

hi dolly!!! You look gorgeous as always 🥰🥰

update: ive been in pain for the past week 💀💀 my back hurts so bad it leaves me bed bound at times
going to the doctors tomorrow again because there's no fucking way i can function like this 💀💀

it's geniuenely bizarre to have no w31ght g4in right before my period 😵‍💫😵‍💫 like I've been consistently VERY near my lw for two weeks now, i wonder if I'll even get it lol

honestly idk if i am but i'm on antibiotics now 💀💀

unfortunate and TMI news from yours truly: there's bl00d in me p1ss now. that stupid bacteria might have just reached my kidneys 💀💀

Medication is such a two-edged sword for me because I feel incredibly collected and stable on it, but ik i can't take it until the end of time and I'm afraid once I'll get off of it it'll all come crashing down and I'll be back at square one :((

asdfghj thank you Joz 🩷 unfortunately it did mention that too in the side effects, but in the "very rare" category lol

I just read the bible of side effects and freaked out 😭😭 but I took the first dose, praying im not THAT prone to psychosis and I won't get shitty side effects 💀💀

girl what the hell im scared of taking this antibiotic ill wait fot my mom to come home first 💀💀

I don't think I'll be goin to this guy again, but if there are no other drs available then...💀💀

Im from Poland and yeah, it's private 😭😭 Thankfully my job covers most of the payment, but even on the best plan available to me it's still like that a lot 💀💀

especially when I PAY THEM to give a shit about me 💀💀 there's shit doctors anywhere you go ig
I really hope they do too, I don't want it to spread 😭😭