Kevin Sciretta

Friendship Center Chicago The Friendship Center fosters hope and dignity in Chicago’s northwest side communities through access to food and vital resources.

hey! it is my birthday today and it would be really cool if yall could donate to the friendship center: they’re a food bank primarily serving the north side of Chicago, including lincoln square, ravenswood and albany park. and they have a pet food pantry! friendshipcenterchicago.org

IT'S TWO THINGS. A STICK AND A SWORD.

YES. FUCK YEAH. A STICK AND A SWORD. ULTIMATE WEAPON. NO I WILL NOT TAKE FOLLOW UP QUESTIONS.

It's this time of year that I'm reminded that Raul Julia and Angelica Huston should have won 18 Oscars each for The Addams Family.

Obviously.

a ravens fan holds a football in front of a crowd ALT: a ravens fan holds a football in front of a crowd

When you throw an absolute murderball of joke over the middle with an acquaintance but it lands

Update: Son of bitch if they didn't agree to fix the problem.

Bold gambit putting Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On" as your hold music, appliance service company.

Seriously every year a video of someone jumping in the river on Saint Patrick's Day comes out and we all post saying "RIP to this man" and replying with a gif of the guy melting from toxic sludge in Robocop. If we are safely swimming 5 feet of it? Anything is possible: positive category.

Buddy if we're swimmin' in this bitch then anything is possible.

a man in a black jacket says " oh yeah " ALT: a man in a black jacket says " oh yeah "

Bears score first.

Took me three goddamn days to remember that the movie where Christopher Walken played an archangel was The Prophecy but I did it.

No city's teams deploy The Past to distract from The Present quicker than Chicago, even if The Past is less than A Decade.

Finally happened. Finally got a recipe online with Too Much Exposition.

Chicago sports are being held hostage by the most grey-brained, uninspired executive class imaginable. These people think tap water is spicy.

I hate The Chicago Bears the way you hate a friend's toxic family member or careless significant other. The one you had to ban from your house for being weird and drinking the wine you were saving for a special occasion and then breaking an appliance.

That's how I'm looking at them from now on.

At long last I name The Chicago Bears as Enemy. I don't like what they do to my friends, I don't like what they do to the city and I hate how much oxygen they take up.

Eternal Disdain upon them.

Go Bears to all who celebrate, Chicago. May your Caleb Williams and your Ben Johnson, and all your fears be mist.

Good luck out there.

That Jackson to Hopkins TD is one of the best I've ever seen.

That NFL Float commercial is an abomination.

nvm it was against the Titans, Denver was fine.

When Adam Amin is speaking in his "Denzel Valentine No!" voice, you are doing a bad job.

Nantz and Rome calling themselves "Sonic and Knuckles" is stolen valor.

Oh dear, Lions. Oh dear.

Nantz and Romo are penance for our sins. Thats the only reasonable explanation for how...THEM...they are.

Wait the Lions and Aiden Hutchinson don't have a deal in place?

...why?

I forgot Pete Carroll is coaching the Raiders that was a jump scare.

Tom Brady picking up right where he left off last season. Condolences to all.

These early games. Woof.