Steve Danger Moore

This is a long way to go to say rapist.

The president's main priority is the ballroom.

The president's main priority is the ballroom.

The president's main priority is the ballroom.

Maga.

Stopped at a store and saw a woman trying to change a flat tire. I showed her how to remove the old tire. She offered me money, which I refused because being able to do something to help means you do something to help. She told me she was MAGA until her Army son couldn't get SNAP. There is hope.p

If only Jasmine Crockett was as smart as she is beautiful, oh, wait, she is. Probably more so. She gives me hope.

Tomorrow, I'm making a salad out of shit I grew myself. If you want to stop by and have a bit of lettuce and tomato that grew in the woods against all odds, I'll gladly accommodate you. But you may want to bring your own dressing. I'm kinda stupid that way

The audacity to think you're the only one to think something in a world of 8 billion people, four billion of which are online is a level of entitlement I could never allow myself to conceive. But then again, I have never fallen for the MAGA dipshittery, either.

Um, yeah, you deserve happiness and I will root for you when it happens

I will swing my mediocre ween for free, if you need a disappointing placebo.

Tomorrow morning I will wake up before sunrise and start dicing potatoes to make breakfast for the two people I love most in the world. They will continue to believe in fairy tales about talking snakes and shrubberies despite the harm they've caused for centuries. I wish it wasn't the case but..

So you're telling us the perfect woman does exist. I was wondering if it was true.

"That way". If they ask where you're going, point forward and say "That way.". If they ask why you're being hostile, say it's because they're being a cop. Nothing about being a cop can be considered good or beneficial.

When the the police ask you questions, don't answer.

Polite conversation about where you're coming from or where you're going is interrogation. They need to know nothing. If they ask where you're coming from, they want to know if it's a bar or a party. If you must speak, point behind you and say

Heartbreaker, soul shaker, I've been told about you!

Hair of the Dog is a hell of a riff to hear just before bed.

To my neighbor who blows leaves for six hours a day.

Now you're messing with a son of a bitch.

If you need some practice having someone overexcited and completely out of control riding in your VW bus, I'll volunteer. I'm a VW nerd and have the attention span and temperament of a cat, so if you're local, I'm your guinea pig.

I sell lawn mowers, snow blowers, generators, etc, but whenever I put Venmo money in my bank, I know they're assuming I'm selling meth. I do nothing to abate this.

It's 9:40pm. My neighbor was out with his beloved leaf blower for six hours today. I have a 100 watt halfstack and a newly refurbished 1977 Fender Stratocaster that needs testing. The only question is should I wait until his bedroom light goes off or start early enough to plant the riff in his head?

Seriously? When you're waiting for the curtain to rise, I guarantee that no matter how loud and raucous the applause will be, you will be amazed at how badly you underestimated it. Good luck tomorrow, even though you don't need it. You are more than a star, you are an icon.

Finding the sparkles of light in the midst of chaos and drudgery is an admirable trait. Love yourself the way we love you and you're golden.

That's awesome, love the color.

Humans don't treat other humans this way. Humans would be a misnomer. They are monsters. Anyone who takes joy in the suffering of others unjustly can't be considered human or afforded the same rights as humans would.

I think that's in the bible.

They had Fall pasta at the store but I didn't buy any because it wasn't made with real gravity.

I was at a discount store that had can openers for 50 cents. I bought a dozen or so and left them in a food pantry box. They were gone in a day.

Tears. Fucking tears. To think we could have had a good person like this in the white house and now we have a complete piece of shit. How far we have fallen.

Remember the time Obama personally caught a fainting woman during his speech — rather than just blankly staring like a sociopath?

Character isn't something you tell people about.

It's something you live.

Just let people think you're the singer for Jethro Tull.