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How many more hip hop and Christmas music mashups can one man fucking take

Dr House put me on his team cause I’m not a doctor and I’m chubby

You may see my funky ass saying yep to vyepti

Fucked up on that good mojito lecroix and alcohol

U may catch me in a realm or overworld

The holidays Reese’s are so much better than the cup what are we even doing here

People don’t harumph anymore

I invented a new kind of gum today: it’s hard

The beauty, the majesty, the sheer unequaled magnetism of two sweaty guys leaning into each other and punching

Shakin loose a fart with a little jazzy slide

Germs are little guys

Not the nutterbutters

Peanut butter sauce dumplings again for dinner I don’t even care

Me watching Barbie

Bought the bean

Why in the fuck are beanbag chairs so expensive what in the hell

Big dog gotta eat

I like in a techno song when they cut in little snippets of a girl moaning

Heading back to the fridge for more kimchi after I KNOW it gives me bad tummy

Grilled up some marinated chicken thighs last night

Imagine a piece of cake

Uber driver driving with his leg crossed fancy style

Just ate a heck of a sandwich

No lies detected

Tried to buy a grimace shake today and all I got was sass

CBH is a classic fat guy food

I love it

My wife is small and in my ear

Okay uh ass is out. But, but tell me I can still hang dong. I mean come on! tell me you can still post hole!

So twisted I can’t tell if I’m throotin or skeetin