Anthony D. Herrera

Dude I got a friend out in LA who just got signed with a management company I'm texting him this whole exchange right now

You Better Believe It Because He Says It!

Though now that I'm thinking about it, he provided absolutely no evidence for these claims.

Like my nephew told me all the time about people seeing girls just grabbed and thrown into a van in that parking lot.

Oh shit, people are just straight up abducted in that Ingram mall parking lot.

Southside, west side, or the extra racist answer?

Witnesses say the unicorn entered the Walmart Superstore and proceeded to trample the elderly woman into a "fine pizza pie paste" before shimmer fading into a twilight realm. Several children were seen rubbing the woman paste on their faces and they now glow like dream shadow warriors.

Yes, in 2003 I had a doorbell surgically implanted in the palm of my left hand so if I needed to get out of a conversation I could squeeze my fist, set off the ding dong, and say, "This is fascinating but I am the man who answers the door," and just walk away.

You're welcome!

Your video game character should vomit after you make them kill their first guy

YouTube video by TV Gold In The Looking Glass (episodes 5 and 6) 1978

If anyone is looking for an absurdist musical comedy series set in a comic strip world featuring kabbalistic imagery and Bob Hoskins, then you should check out In The Looking Glass

www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWzi...

The Leftovers but set in the aftermath of the events of Halloween III: Season of the Witch

Witnesses say the unicorn entered the Walmart Superstore and proceeded to trample the elderly woman into a "fine pizza pie paste" before shimmer fading into a twilight realm. Several children were seen rubbing the woman paste on their faces and they now glow like dream shadow warriors.

There's a hoof now.

Doctor put me on new pills. The main side effect is the growth of a marsupial like pouch in my midsection from which a hand periodically emerges. The hand grows by the day and spells out racist words in ASL. The doctor says, "This is so cool. This is cooler than that frog I saw that one time."

Even now scientists are hard at work harnessing the power of Christmas to end murder forever.

Yes, in 2003 I had a doorbell surgically implanted in the palm of my left hand so if I needed to get out of a conversation I could squeeze my fist, set off the ding dong, and say, "This is fascinating but I am the man who answers the door," and just walk away.

Mall by my house tried to do a Santa thing for Halloween where you sit on Slenderman's lap but the guy they got to play him was pretty tubby. The kids were really disappointed but luckily one of them murdered his own father and summoned the real Slenderman and everyone ended up having a great time.

How fucking hard does the Jetson's movie go?

YouTube video by Tiffany - Topic You And Me

YouTube randomly threw up this Tiffany song from the Jetson's movie soundtrack and now I can't stop listening to it. www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXCO...

Gonna shave my head and get a tattoo on the back of it of the Kool-Aid man crying while an orangutan floats dead, drowned in his red liquid and underneath that have the word PROPHECY in barbed wire font. Just a fun fall look, y'know?

That's right, I just decided to change the name. The whims of pickle merchants are maelstrom and fucked. I will brain bleed you, son.

All of you are all like "Anthony, don't call your pickle store Pickle La Vida Loca call it Living La Vida Pickle!" and to you I say this: Stay away from my beautiful wooden barrels full of pickles and complimentary ladles of brine because you are not welcome at Living La Pickle Loca.

Anyone else find it annoying when the black vultures look down from the power lines they're perched on and whisper "soon" at you?

Biggest regret about my time in New York is never jumping on the garbage train as it passed by in the subway and seeing where they dispose of C.H.U.D. corpses and watching them mix the trash with the blood of the innocent and feeding it to the insane, blind God living below Manhattan.

The best word to hear Dracula say that he has never said is Bananarama.

Woke up and mother was in full Day of the Dead makeup sharpening knives and talking to a scorpion. "Trouble is all the old ghosts are boring. Need to make some new ghosts," she said. The scorpion neither responded nor were its intentions fathomable.

Talking to my neighbor. The Jack O' Lanterns he'd carved had somehow grown beards in the Amish style. We shaved them and made bracelets from the hair. His were much nicer than mine. "Yours are like so good. For reals," he lied, and that lie kept the Autumn chill off my bones.

Started using string to tie Ziploc bags of hot soup around my waist in the fanny pack style and it has significantly increased my confidence when speaking with potential employers. I think it has to do with the warmth of the hot soup and the danger of the hot soup.

Woke up and mother was in full Day of the Dead makeup sharpening knives and talking to a scorpion. "Trouble is all the old ghosts are boring. Need to make some new ghosts," she said. The scorpion neither responded nor were its intentions fathomable.