🌈✨MAX✨🌈

Billionaires are cooked.

They're building concentration camps with my tax money Chuck. They're torturing children. They're murdering innocent people on the street. What are you doing.

gradient.horse Draw a horse, watch it run!

omg everybody go draw a horse this is what the internet was made for

gradient.horse

💯👇

If you’re considering locking up your personal property to keep your significant other from fucking with it, you need to pack up said personal property and leave the shitty person you’re with, who you can’t trust to respect you and your stuff.

me, this morning: ugh, my stomach hurts, I ate too much bad food yesterday

me getting lunch: …surely THIS is the proper amount of chips and dip that will heal me

Yay! Got my mom’s birthday covered, like 7mo in advance! 💪🏻

Our new local amphitheater opens this year, and mom and I now have excellent tickets for two concerts over 3 days: Chicago, Styx, Lynyrd Skynyrd, and Foreigner.

I am a good child. 😇

Oh my god, so many people are canceling Nitro that it's having issues processing it, cook 'em hard bois.

Whelp, that about wraps it up for Discord

Because Jellycat 🤷🏻😩

Macbeth: SHIT

Gates McFadden told a great story at a Star Trek convention I went to as a kid about Kermit goofing around with her props on a break between takes during her scene in “Muppets Take Manhattan” and finally she goes “KERMIT, STOP THAT!”, like straight to the frog, and the whole crew lost their shit

Smiles :]

Armies wear uniforms for a reason. And not just because it makes the laundry easier.

I am reminded of certain lilac blossoms on a certain Glorious 25th of May. How do you tell your comrades from your potential murderers? A carrot, a leek, a lilac sprig, a red knitted hat, a frog costume.

Duh.

The current regime took a week to abolish USAID, which is three times as old and was not in the news every day for brutalizing children

Amazing; they’re literally doing the cartoon.

11:11 make a wish

homoquartz Follow i've warmed up significantly towards the concept of small talk ever since i learned that its sole purpose is to make friendly noises. as long as you smile and nod, people are satisfied. it's just to show that you are nice and there with good intentions. we're small in a big world and have to rely on other people to be decent to us. so we do our little human dance to each other to say, "i'm not here to hurt you. here's something we have in common, like the weather or sports or itchy sweaters, so we both know we're on the same team. we both agree on a basic fact, like that it is rainy or that being itchy is uncomfortable, and this proves we can get along. i'm being light-hearted and non-threatening right now." small talk isn't to get to know a person. it's just a greeting to affirm you're buddies in the universe. i am motivated by wanting the other person to know i am friendly, so i have gotten pretty decent at small talk when i used to hate it. the owl shit When I was a kid and would go hiking with my dad and sibling on vacation, every time we would pass another group, my dad would do the smile and nod and "hey". And then after we'd turned a corner, he would say more quietly, "I must make friendly social noises so they do not eat my young" and my sib and I would crack up laughing. Gotta remember that we're mammals under it all.

leveled up with this explanation, cos as an autistic person i pride myself on reacting appropriately to animals, to signal harmlessness, so why wouldn't i want to do this for human animals?

never occurred to me to stop listening to the words and instead recognise the BEHAVIOUR.

Me: why does that name seem famili-

Ohhhhhh wait the guty who kept stealing my threads across multiple platforms. Then got angry when he got publicly called out for it and claimed he was "doing me a favour". Yeah fuck that guy. 😆

I'm sorry the guy changing the rules on the fly is named what

put this headline in a museum

If you've never been in a big TK Maxx then this video explains beautifully why you must

This client’s last name is *not* Dalek. But it looks close enough to Dalek that I have to keep reminding myself not to type Dalek. 😩🤣

lololol now I’m thinking about the people from Derry (curse: child-eating eldritch clown in the sewers) finding out that oh, Haven is cursed too? What did those poor bastards get? …Some people randomly get weird superpowers. Really. How… nice… for them… 🤬🤬🤬

sports pioneer George F. Biathlon inventing the sport of biathlon in the year 1887

See, I feel the question with the not!bean boots is whether it’s a true inaccuracy, or a result of the fact that the show is set in Stephen King!Maine, which is an alternate reality two inches to the left of actual!Maine 🤔

I hear it’s Pikachu day.

Hiiiii!! 😁💕