Snooby

Being dragged screaming out of the hospital for hexing all the newborn babies except for mine, "You have to do yours too or it's not fair" the orderly says as he's pulling my shirt over my head so he can punch me in the gut 30 times

imagine a dog big smiling dog or not a big dog whatever your preference is. now imagine the biggest and sharpest sword of all time

(First day as Shift Manager, hearing the two guys I used to chop it up with for years in the backroom laughing as they're working) You guys really think that's appropriate?

*Dies and discovers the afterlife is exactly like South Park* What? What? *Sees my grandma and grandpa, they're both South Park version of themselves and telling me they don't like it here* What the fuck?? What?? *Never realizes this is what Heaven is, Hell is just normal Hell*

(Soul Calibur announcer voice) Michelob Ultra

Just finished an RPG that took about 120 hours to complete and got so mad at the ending it gave me that I just deleted the whole save file and shut off my computer with the actual physical power button

Steam Next Fest is soon and Trading Card Inspector has 25 Positive Reviews!😁❤️🐒

A few more would push us into the top 100 highest rated demos (WHICH WOULD BE HUGE)!😍✨🙇

🎮Play the Demo: s.team/a/3940840
📈Help a debut indie dev team fight the big guys!
#indiedev #gamedev #indiegames #cozygames #steam

My bones are made of muscle and my muscles are made of bone but I still fuck normal for the most part

I'm working on a completely original new memory for me to remember

When I was a kid my mom FORBID me from watching the Austin Powers movies, just layed down the law with such seriousness and severity that I thought they must have had the craziest most hardcore shit going on in them. And I was right.

Nothing more irksome than a "To hell with it all" type of fellow

Skincare is bullshit, I've been moisturizing everyday for a week and I've still got $27,000 of credit card debt

Yo they named a restaurant after me 😭💀 (Refusing to elaborate on what I mean, unsettling you and creating a rift between us that gradually widens over time) They straight up named this restaurant after me man 😭😭😂😂💀💀

NO! NOOOOOOO!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

THIS is what I like to hear on here!

(My MiniMe-style clones join in with me on the last word of every line like Beastie Boys)

It's so cool to believe in GOD

If you don't you just be a CLOD

God pranking a virtuous guy by sending him to Hell for one second

God pranking a guy who's having a near death experience by appearing before him as Peter Griffin and telling him he has to watch Family Guy for the rest of his life or he's going to Hell

The only place within 100km that sells video games isn't getting any copies of Nioh 3 until Tuesday #gamerslament

Me and my clones are all working on a webseries called Ten Million's Company

You're working on yourself, you're improving, you have a reason to exist and the reason is that you exist in the first place

(Unaware it's my turn to be eaten by my Cannibal God) Sometimes I feel like there's gotta be more to life than being torn apart and eaten by Cannibal God

Not looking forward to Friday this week. I have to go get granulated

They just released a new kind of Uni!

(Servant walks into the king's chambers to clean up after the theater troupe's "private act" they convinced him to let them perform for him, the room is trashed and the king is tied to the foot of the bed with his face cut off and "The Merry Men" carved into his chest)

(Watching Homer Simpson make a silly mistake with a comical level of confidence that sets up the rest of the episode) This dumb fat fuck feels way too safe shooting his dumb fat fuck mouth off (Getting up and walking around) Dumb fat bald fuck needs to shut his fucking mouth

Question for the Chess "experts": If Chess is the "ultimate game of stategy", then how come nobody has ever actually successfully finished a game of Chess to completion?

Nostalgia posting about 2016 gets everything wrong, I was an adult back then I can tell you that the most popular movie was Return of the Five Deadly Venoms AKA Crippled Avengers and the #1 trend was eating a family size Popeye's box on the couch in my basement while watching Return of the Five Dead

Inventing an apparatus specifically for holding a slice of pizza and a drink with one hand because a charming Southern gentleman with a slight smell of sulfur appeared before me and made a very convincing argument that there's not enough plastic crap in the world

(Being abducted by the Immortal Torture Aliens of Time-Prison Agony Planet IV) Oh great, this is just what I was hoping for! NOT! 🙄