I eat nothing but chicken and I’m over it

I knew not to trust the early Black Friday sales

Unfortunately you do have to watch this one with the sound on 😂

Mmm I think this is a yes and. Modern food science has made it so you don’t have to be a *good* cook to make most classic thanksgiving dishes but I do think you need some skill when it comes to the turkey

I accidentally had two lunches so I have no idea what I’m meant to have for dinner now

One of my favorite parts of vibe coding is when the AI talks through its thought process and is like, ah! I fucked up! I can fix it!

KellyAnne walked so this one could soar

The second person was on 8th Ave and wanted to know where the (TKTS?) stairs were. I told him “one block that way and maybe 3 blocks that way” and he goes, “oh, it’s really big then??”

Times Square gotta do some reeducation for tourists!

Twice in two weeks a tourist has asked me for directions to Times Square while they were essentially in it. The first person was on 42nd and 7th and asked me where the “main building” was. I just pointed out where the ball drops.

Twice tonight I’ve had to either catch a hot coal as it was tumbling out of the wood stove or pick up a coal after it fully fell out of the stove. Does this make me a pro or inept.

Imagine that

You would think we would know how to say Mamdani at this point but newscaster just called him “mommydani” then “mammadani” before getting it right on the third try.

I wanted to hear more only in the hopes that they’d be able to get it together in the end 😩

Called it.

Yep!

I read this article and it was disingenuous to sell this as “look what this 89 year old eats! Eat it too if you want to live!” when she says multiple times “I don’t eat that much, my metabolism is the same as it was when I was 20. I’m happy with a handful of berries and cheese for lunch.”

Festivus for the rest of us

I thought goon was specifically deviant behavior mainly because of that guy over the summer who got caught going through a drive thru with no pants on

I’m sorry but a salty hot chocolate sounds awful

I’m still not that tired so let’s see how far I get tonight.

Before they started with the ads they mentioned the two cities were London and Paris which I never knew - never even gave any thought to whether there were actually two cities at all.

I do remember now there were some other sentences that compared/contrasted some stuff but I sure don’t know what.

I will say I was irritated I had to ff through 2 minutes of ads before they started the story.

The other night I started listening to The Sleepy Bookshelf’s season on A Tale of Two Cities because I “wasn’t that tired” and thinking back on it I can’t tell you anything more that happened other than it was the best of times and it was the worst of times.

After freezing through the back half of October having the heat turned on to 70 feels luxurious

I wanted to convince my mom I was sick(er than I actually felt) so I touched the thermometer to a lightbulb… and it got so hot it broke. She panicked thinking I somehow bit through it and had ingested the mercury

Punched myself in the jaw once because I wasn’t convinced it actually hurt when boxers did it

I ironed a jeans skirt while wearing it. It was actually fine until the iron puffed steam and scalded my thigh 😂

My no one asked opinion is old teens trick or treating is fine but they gotta dress up

I accidentally drove through a high traffic trick or treat community in an attempt to avoid a different high traffic trick or treat community 😩