Uncle Ste’ (he/him)

The world needs more of that.

That disappointment when mom starts buying Maximum Value brand Pink Floyd…

Ok, hear me out. Beck could totally play Micheal Cera in some kind of a reverse biopic.

Never forget. Mmm.

My therapist and I have very defined roles. It’s her job to tell me that it’s the world itself that’s broken. And it’s my job to see that world has very convincing evidence to the contrary.

At last they have bestowed upon me an engraved metal plate of both identification and permission. Let it be told far and wide. Let all upon the pavement, in stationary storage lots and drive-thru windows know, that I shall operate my coach and beep at those found to be unworthy in mine eyes.

All of my prepared paperwork is useless. It is as if it were for my benefit and my benefit alone. There come cries for tribute. They demand far more than was foretold in the prophecy. They cackle at my frustration. They drink my despair.

I have carved the ancient sigil into my hand. The seal has been broken. The sleeping ones, awoken. Wilford Brimley stalks the earth once more. Eyes glowing. His breath aflame. The path is made clear as spoken in the prophecy. The DMV is like 2 shops down in this strip mall. Goddammit.

My throat is parched. I am lost. Wandering. Hallucinating for what seems like weeks in the heat. What looked like a Burger King, sparkling majestically in the sun, was but a hallucination housing only the hollow shell of JoAnn Fabric. Once a might titan now lies the victim of hedge fund pirates.

The skies grow dark. A cold front moves in. I have clubbed a passing seal and have hidden inside, like so much tauntaun. Mother mocked my Jedi degree. Who laughs from inside a seal, mother? Who laughs now?

I am back at another DMV. let the journaling begin

8:07 AM - a line has started already. This DMV doesn’t open until 9. Morale is fairly high. I pray that my wife and daughter remember their papa as he was. A man with a motor vehicle.

I have awoken from a deep and dreamless sleep. After 6.5 hours of waiting, 3 movies, 2 albums and a therapy session in my car, I will soon reach my goal of a new license. The cruel irony is that I need plates and will do this all over at 6:30 AM tomorrow. #dmv

It has been 3 days of spartan living. I have almost ascended to the rank of God’s chosen. I really should have eaten breakfast. #dmv

Oh how foolish I was. There are both factions and subfactions of indoor folk. The folks living between the door, the deadly snake folk of the lobby and then there are God’s chosen few who now reside in the DMV proper. I must be strong. #dmv

I have learned of growing factions within the waiting at the DMV. There are inside and there are outside folk. Despite the fact that some will ascend, we the outside folk have on-going plans to unseat the inside folk in the coming days. We ride at 3 o’clock!

I just learned that Fergie’s first name is Stacy. Listen to any of her solo work or with the Black Eyed Peas. She’s definitely a Stacy. Halfway through the outside line. I’ve started watching Grindhouse. #dmv

All the flags out here are at half mast. No doubt it is in the memory of those that perished yesterday, waiting. Pray for us. #dmv

I came to the dmv just to make my new home official. I thought it opened at 8. I got here at 7:15. There are already 50+ people in line on the outside alone. This will chronicle my struggle. #dmv

Please bring Maame-Yaa and Mimi back, sir.

SIMPLY HAVING A

More laughs courtesy of Elon 🤣💀 bsky.app/profile/stri...

Huge win from @franzanth.bsky.social creating a Content Scraper Blocklist: bsky.app/profile/cont...

It's a blocklist for the kinds of engagement bait accounts that repost stolen content, often with misleading captions.

Who is your Drake though?

I thought the pink peppermint would look cute in my frog mug. Instead, it looks like I've exposed his brain tissue. :/

Nice!

Sums up the current state of the US politics

Yes plz

Heart eyes, motherfucka!

So… you know your audience! I’m ready for it.