Sara THE MURDERIEST UNICORN

A wintery scene with a black Christmas tree and felt vultures wearing festive hats and scarves

A wintery scene with a black Christmas tree and felt vultures wearing festive hats and scarves

A wintery scene with a black Christmas tree and felt vultures wearing festive hats and scarves

A skeleton in a top hat riding a black plush reindeer because sure why not

Christmas office vultures be upon you

Yes my coworkers think I'm insane, don't worry

It takes a lot of work to get and keep benefits through scamming. It’s an utterly insignificant number of people. But we love the idea of punishing people more than we care about the net good of helping people.

That whole thread is infuriating. I couldn’t figure out if the OP is disabled but it doesn’t really matter. It’s ugly as hell either way

I have to jump through about 4 gigantic hoops a year to prove I still need SNAP. I have help to do it. A lot of people don’t, and the point is to get rid of them

We knew what woke meant just fine before y'all stole it. It had an established, agreed upon definition in common usage.

I call it her zombie bird because it keeps coming back from the dead. Last night I was trying to think of a punny sound an undead bird would make. I asked Edward and he immediately said “GRAINS”

A small orange and white cat with a feathery toy trapped under her feet, looking at me plaintively as she tries to understand that I cannot make the toy work while she is holding it trapped beneath her giant peets.

My cat: Mother, why is the bird dead? Why does the bird no longer fly for me?

Me: You’re sitting on it.

Cat: *long pause*

Cat: MOTHER, WHY IS THE BIRD DEAD? WHY DOES THE BIRD NO LONGER FLY FOR ME?

My dog would NEVER.

how can a cat this tiny smell so bad

These earrings are getting compliments everywhere. And also alarmed flurries of glances. It’s funny when I’m in my mask and glasses. People stop understanding I can still see their faces even if they can’t see mine.

She had SO many amazing stories. Grew up almost next door to Jimmy Stewart and he was just “uncle Jimmy” to her. CAN YOU IMAGINE?

Roddy McDowell talked shit nonstop about everyone at Bette Davis’s funeral.

EDITH HEAD DESIGNED HER WEDDING GOWN JUST BECAUSE

Me: I’ve had laryngitis for almost two months. Singing is a piece of my soul.

Me: I despise losing my voice. I need to rest it as much as possible to end this nightmare

Also me: *scampering around the house mimicking the “find my iPhone” alarm for five minutes straight for absolutely no reason*

When I was in my early 20s I was OBSESSED with that movie. And one day I found out I was working with Anne Baxter’s daughter. I LOST MY MIND. She told me some really cool stories but was mostly delighted that anyone my age (early 20s) would know who her mother was.

Text: Thicket Pariedolia Image: a creature resembling a deer made of twisted birch tree branches shedding golden leaves. It prances through an abstracted wood, a pale stag in a stand of summery green leaves.

𝔗𝔥𝔦𝔠𝔨𝔢𝔱 𝔓𝔞𝔯𝔢𝔦𝔡𝔬𝔩𝔦𝔞

WOOOOOOOOOO

A pale woman with long blonde hair and red lipstick, with a wildly fuzzy hood that is supposed to look like animal ears. It is impossible to determine the species of animal.

Change in plans. Needed the backup hood I keep at my mom’s to shield my peripheral vision when my light sensitivity gets bad. What the fuck animal is this supposed to be? Werewolf? Ewok?

@profanity.accountant

AI plus generations of young people with brain damage from being sacrificed to Covid by the capitalism gods is really horrifying to contemplate

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER

I THOUGHT I JUST WALKED IN ON MY MOM’S HUSBAND GOING PEE BUT HE WAS JUST FLUSHING A BUG

In my wise mid-40s I have embraced the white lady chicken beak non-existence of my upper lip, and honestly it plays well with my anime face. I want to get a time machine and take the lipliner away from 30s Sara. Girl, let it go. Be free.

Oh dang!

A pale woman with long blonde hair and red lipstick, with a wildly fuzzy hood that is supposed to look like animal ears. It is impossible to determine the species of animal.

Change in plans. Needed the backup hood I keep at my mom’s to shield my peripheral vision when my light sensitivity gets bad. What the fuck animal is this supposed to be? Werewolf? Ewok?

Already listened to Alice’s Restaurant once today. ☺️

if you put poppin fresh in the oven what happens, do you think he'd start screaming until the moment his mouth swelled shut

Should I wear my nekkid lady earrings to thanksgiving dinner?

I hope so

I love a Baskin Robbin’s ice cream cake. I would eat that with my face.

I really was so sad.

A woman with huge dark glasses and red lipstick, wearing long dangly earrings that form the shape of a nude woman.

Dangly earrings made of alternating squares of gold and silver. Each square is a different part of a nude woman’s body.

Yes, me and my naked lady earrings from @peculiarityshop.bsky.social are fabulous. Thank you for noticing.