ucpete

They’ll never believe it wasn’t the one they called the “Big Hurt” or the one that has “sex” and “son” in his name that banged a family member

Correct re the cookie and 💯 on the Andes 🤌🤌

Exact same spirit

Thin Mints in the freezer is an annual tradition over here

Bizarrely little separation between Pfaadt’s sweeper and cutter 🧐 choose one dude

Right out of an adult movie script

He’s a regular Bob Dylan out here

just got this hat on laht

If it’s on I’ll watch but it’s not worth changing the channel for

its amazing how chatgpt knows everything about subjects I know nothing about, but is wrong like 40% of the time in things im an expert on. not going to think about this any further

When you’ve got Steve Freakin Young you gotta get the ball in his hands

ain’t the first time either

🎧

Did we talk about the Feel like a Stranger teases before the 17 min mark yet?

🧢

Me neither. But only because I refuse to play the ticket game

If a face value ticket falls into my lap I’ll fly down for the night

Feel like I should experience it once before it closes but I’m not compromising my ethics to make it happen haha

If your name is a spoonerism for 💉 I feel like you should stay far away from 💉 suspicion

People who still use tw*tter remind me of the old myth about frogs in boiling water

If it was presented to you sight unseen there’s no fucking way you’d jump in at this point

It’s way worse than 4chan was 20 years ago

Can you take me lower (in the standings)?

I miss Bowie so much 😞

These are simply camps with a high concentration of people

I’ve almost finished serving my secret suspension playing minor league baseball, might be getting close to that time

whoops forgot the link
phi.sh/~2w811uS

I fucked up and had too many of my own and ran out of room for caring about other children 😞

Here’s a gofundme to help me regain my empathy through bitcoins:

See what I’m saying

At 9:18, 3rd period of the Finland-Switzerland women's ice hockey QF game, the ice crew came to clean the ice during a pause

What follows is the funniest use of the slo-mo alternate angle tech I've seen them use during these Olympics of one of the crew members falling

When a mf pulls up to the four way stop aggressively but decidedly after you, but waves you through as if they’re doing you a favor 🙄

I checked in with the resident teenagers and they are only slightly less confused than me, but urged me to stop jestermaxxing

I don’t allow them to dairygoon yet though so they’re not entirely slang-mog’d