log lady

I can’t stop sneezing! I have a million articles to read for school! Everything is dumb!

I had to switch to decaf this year, and lemme tell ya, it sucks

the back of a man 's head is shown in a blue jacket ALT: the back of a man 's head is shown in a blue jacket

Me showing up to get yelled at

The more stressed out I get the more I love stupid pro wrestling

*tearfully* You got this, big dog

Calling myself big dog in my internal monologue in an attempt to build confidence

Just did 30 minutes of cardio and now I don’t have depression anymore. This is why my dad lifted weights all the goddamn time

Human beings love each other and miss each other so much when they’re gone, and that’s probably my favorite thing about us.

bob 's burgers bob says okay fine but i 'm gonna complain the whole time while looking at his reflection ALT: bob 's burgers bob says okay fine but i 'm gonna complain the whole time while looking at his reflection

My knees when I take the stairs

I chime in with a haven’t you people ever heard of
Getting your goddamn dough up

Half of middle age is just chasing down why your tummy hurt

Boss, I can’t come in. No I’m fine, it’s just that my dog is being really snuggly this morning. Thanks, I knew you’d understand

Scrolling on my phone until I see one (1) funny video, then immediately putting it down before I lose all the dopamine I just gained. It’s like cashing out at the casino before all your money is gone

*theme from Benny Hill*

“Read outside your genre. Choose writing over everything but family and health. Specifically, always choose it over reality television or the bar.” — Stephen Graham Jones

This Machine Surrounds Hate and Forces It To Surrender

It’s so important for me to remember that being perceptive + having anxiety =/= the Gift of Prophecy

Me: *hair in double buns, feeling cute*
Kiddo: Okay, Princess Leia

Kiddo is past the whole Santa thing, but we still don’t put the presents out until late Christmas Eve/early Christmas morning because we have two pets and they both kinda suck

Last night my kid started calling me Gomez Mom… because of my mustache 🫠

Aw, that sounds amazing 💜

A man’s wife is such an important piece of his workplace holiday potluck

Love when you go to Goodwill on a Sunday and then the rest of the week is a fashion show

I’m good at doing things *every day* or doing things *never*, and boy do I struggle with everything in between

a cartoon drawing of a potato with a battery on its head ALT: a cartoon drawing of a potato with a battery on its head

My son’s social battery after two extended family gatherings in one day

Me, flirting: You wanna watch the Mankind vs Undertaker Hell in a Cell match with me?

Oh, you threw away that crumpled up piece of paper that looked exactly like trash? It was actually really important and I wanted to keep it forever. Thanks for ruining my life

Thank you Alan! That’s really nice to hear. My social media activity is not at all what it used to be, but it’s nice to be able to pop in every now and then. I’m glad you’re here too 💚

a man with long blonde hair and a beard is holding a fishing rod ALT: a man with long blonde hair and a beard is holding a fishing rod

My face when Cody Rhodes hits Bron Breakker with a chair

I’m so much prettier at home than I am at work. Labor just doesn’t look good on me 💅