zsɐɯoʇ 🏳️‍🌈

Just got blocked by someone because I said I don’t like mince pies. We’ve got wars, climate chaos, economies wobbling—yet somehow my pastry slander managed to send someone into such a cosmic fury they slammed the digital door on me. Global chaos: tolerable. Mince pie heresy: absolutely not 🎄💥🥧🌍

Nope, I haven’t — mince pies taste like someone spiced the crumbs of a Victorian carpet, rolled it in Christmas spirit, potpourri, regret and chimney soot and then served it in pastry

Before we talk about paying more council tax, maybe fix the bands first — they stop at Band H, meaning some homeowners pay the same as Buckingham Palace. Until I’ve got a throne room, I’ll pass 👑

50-year mortgages? Bold move — now you can pass your house and your debt down through generations. The American Dream just got a sequel: The American Lease. 🏚️💀

Just finished Netflix’s Frankenstein adaptation and loved it. I read the book about 10 years ago — by the end, between Shelley’s 19th-century prose and my 21st-century attention span, the plot tied itself in knots. This version’s frame narrative finally untangled it for my simple mind! ⚡️🧠

Electric Palace Theatre Bridport Dorset England UK

📍 Electric Palace, Bridport

20 years on, Madonna’s ‘Confessions’ album finally lands where it belongs—in my healed heart. At 17, I was heartbroken, homeless and tangled in an eating disorder. Back then, it couldn’t reach me. It was like a secret no one had let me in on. Now, I can finally dance to it the way I was meant to 🥰

Did all the sleep hygiene today — exercise, sun lamp time, Vitamin D supplement, no caffeine or sugar after 12pm. Got into bed with melatonin, an eye mask and ear plugs, only to still be wired and wide awake 2 hours later! My body’s like “cute ritual, anyway—insomnia!” #insomnia

Well handled, he is a rude, arrogant arsehole!

Tim Martin, the Brexit oracle himself — the man who thought leaving the EU would make your pint cheaper. Now he’s handing out economic advice like it’s happy hour. Cheers, professor — how’s that ‘sovereignty’ tasting with inflation?

Finished work and instantly began a spontaneous sofa deep clean — 2.5 hours of lint rolling, de-bobbling, and steam-cleaning like a feral gremlin. Got so sweaty I treated myself to a reward beer. Then another. Then another—And now I’m part of the furniture again. Pissed as a fart. Happy Monday!

@mrjamesob.bsky.social Discussing immigration w/ a relative & said I don’t support Tommy Robinson’s views & got, “So you support the rape of young girls?”—The insane logic leap=disliking one scruffy white man means you endorse heinous crimes. By that reasoning, hating Marmite makes you an arsonist 🤦‍♂️

Just spent 30 seconds in HMV before leaving in a state of bereavement. It’s now 90% Korean confectionery, plush toys & novelty candles—“Great Deals” on music consisted of a 1-disc Greatest Hits CD from 2009 retailing for £14—Now mourning pure nostalgia and not questioning online music capitalism

Happy Birthday! 🥳😸

I often read my late mothers, she had no issue leaving negative feedback! 😂

Glitch in the matrix or gremlins in the system? This is from 1 March 2025 😂

Had a headache all day, switch on the news and suddenly reality is doing backflips! An estate agent’s accepted liability for Rachel Reeves’ rental license saga and the King’s finally stripped Andrew of his titles, styles, honours and lodge! Universe in glorious chaos—Might buy a scratch card!

a man is sitting at a desk holding a crown in front of him ALT: a man is sitting at a desk holding a crown in front of him

Oh my god, reminds me of Pascal Savage from Johnny English!

Ah, 55%! Because if there’s one thing history’s taught us, it’s that narrow majorities always lead to smooth sailing and zero regrets. Just ask Brexit 🤦‍♂️

Up early, senior leaders in, ready to impress—Then my iron ejaculated a limescale volcano all over my freshly pressed shirt. Instead of getting a new one like a functional adult, I stood there screaming at it for a full minute—because apparently I lose arguments to inanimate household appliances now

I’m extremely grateful for District Nurses… They caught my very naughty diabetic Nan secretly hoarding paffiter rolls in her fridge 😂

Awww bless you…. Have you tried intermittent fasting?

I do the most basic one which is 12hrs overnight—E.G No food between 7pm-7am or 8pm—8am etc and it’s made a big difference for me.

It’s not for everyone but always worth a try x

Boscombe Boscombe Pier Boscombe Spa Bournemouth Dorset Wessex Pier Sea Beach

📍 Boscombe Pier, Bournemouth

The reform party nativity scene.

No unmarried mothers. No Middle Eastern people. No refugees. No people seeking emergency accommodation.

And not a wise fvcking man in sight…

He could give Princess Anne a run for her money with those legs!

Sunday reset:
✅ Extra hour in bed
✅ Fresh coffee
✅ Autumn vibes

Then I switched on the TV and got hit with Laura Kuenssberg (and her salmon suit) and Kay Burley. Went from zen to nuclear in 3 seconds flat and now off to boil my head. #BBCLauraK​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

I scoffed once when my dog did it and my mother said: “Oh ssh, we’d all do it if we could” 😝🥴🤦‍♂️

Is that glass or goldfish bowl of wine?!?! It’s huuuuuge! 🍷

Amazing—I have lived in Dorset 18 years and have only heard of one of those places! 🫨

Thank you, Guardian. This is the kind of powerful, compassionate journalism people want and expect from you—not the vacuous celeb fluff

Calling one tenant’s home a “holding pen” is harrowing but true. I hope this drives more coverage and real laws to hold landlords to basic, fair & humane standards