John Tucker

I’ll see thee!

Event cancelled on the day because my twenty foot long Buick gets stuck on the bend in the McDonalds drive through (sorry, “drive thru”)

Me when the big man’s on about a dark pessimism running completely out of control

Nice one Gavin, glad you enjoyed 👍

Live tonight 9pm
YOUR SUNDAY DARTS

Back playing classic BULLSEYE from 1984

We are so back (if this goes well)

twitch.tv/johntuckerart x

That’s Eric alright

Right up my street this, thank you very much

If anyone is still after tickets for the world darts championship 🤫 👇

Hell yeah

I think my biggest indicator that I was online too young is that I will read the About Us on any company’s website and I do mean any company. I would love to read about the rich history of the Gorilla Glue brand. It would be my pleasure to see photos of the Michelin Man back when he looked like shit

The broader thought in question: you can put this video template over literally any clip and it works

Gullible host of Diary of a CEO smiling inanely during an episode

JETHRO: And back then I was making significant returns on cassettes. Every motorway services in England and Wales stocked my cassettes.

BARTLETT: Wow. I’m looking at one now, Confessions of Jethro, and you’re -

JETHRO: I’m dressed as a priest there and doing a pervy face.

BARTLETT: Incredible.

Made this as part of a broader thought on my Instagram story and am now creased at the idea of that Huel botherer nodding sagely at Jethro

That Amazon ad where they buy that daft sod at the theatre a suit, but it’s an actual Amazon suit (so shiny he can see his face in it, brand name “WEWAV”, Temu employee’s plea for help written on a note inside the pocket)

Cardiff Days Gone By infected with AI slop, mods should be coming down on this like a ton of bricks. CDGB is for photos of Splott Market in the 80s and memes like “share if YOU never learned to wipe your arse and you turned out ok!”

Yall know I had to do it to em

Watching old episodes of The Indoor League and they had this geezer on performing an original song about The Indoor League. To say nothing of the quality of the song (the first verse is about Brylcream) if your first dart at 77 is single 18 you are a certified lunatic

Me and who 😍

Hey Duggee touring theatre show cast and crew, back to work. Got a two year old here who’s gasping for it you slags

15/16 packs of scratchings sold: 😏😘
0/16 packs of scratchings sold: bloody hell Len

Thinking about when I worked in the pub and we had one of those cardboard displays of pork scratchings with a sexy lady on the cardboard underneath, and the person who bought the last pack got scolded because we replaced it with a new one that had the lady covered up with pork scratchings again

People on here called like “The IBS Tree Surgeon 🌳🏥 (@badguts.tree.doc)”: We are done with quote dunks and bad energy on this platform. This is a fresh start. Etiquette 101 for all y’all Newskies 🧵(1/9)

Me if Caerphilly Council get an account on here after not collecting my bin for 3 weeks:

That got seen by approx 10x the people that ever downloaded an episode of This Foul Earth, scrumping clout from Brother Adam

Adam Curtis Cameo

Have started referring to drinking as “reverse boofing”

Added to starter pack “mangle admirers #staypressed”

Would love to put a big wet linen cloth through a mangle, bet that would be so sick