Joe FreedomWalker (First Son of the Jester King)

Bro your vibes are divine! Not in a beautiful way, something more horrifying. Angry. Abyssal.

If only Taika Waititi could make another holocaust movie to save us from evil nazi Elon Musk. Save us Taika!

I’m reading the room at a third grade level, and buddy? I’m about to start using adverbs.

I would have never ate that damn Apple if I was Eve, but if the devil handed me a hot dog? Buddy that’s a different story.

This is better than that dumbass baby shoes story

“china is our enemy” that’s really cool you have enemies dude. i’m just chilling though

Stealing toilet paper from work. Not because I need it. But because I can.

The two pictures look like a shot reverse shot

Men , this is the year your dick size is gonna increase like crazy. Im talking 3x gains. Im talking wide ass puds the size of trash can lids

Wait till Mario hears about this

The proper mixture of DayQuil and NyQuil actually creates a chemical reactions that results in the forging of a blade that can pierce the iron skin of Baphomet.

Listening to Ants Marching by Dave Matthews while you’re high feels like god descending from Heaven to tell you personally that you’re a “pretty cool guy”

God really popped off when he invented pooping. Really cool stuff, and fun to do!

Getting trapped on a ladder because I have a money maker mindset and never move backwards.

The first presidential candidate to properly wield a broadsword will become emperor of the world

I am making inevitable progress towards a great evil. I feel the eyes of the sun on my back as I march into solitude, for I know not the dark avenues that posting will take me down. I am afraid.

They are arresting me for doing the peasant dance. Guess comedy is illegal again?

Saving Private Penis

They should make a movie where the main characters do something awesome… maybe beat me to death with hammers? Idk, I’m willing to workshop.

It’s not Thanksgiving without a Corman classic.

Sounds like the coolest possible guy.

Ruining Thanksgiving, not with racism and politics, but with an intense commitment to the eroticism of cooking

Stealing the aux at Thanksgiving and playing GNX on repeat all day. I’m screaming mustard full volume everytime it comes around.

Slowly taking poison damage from the gas station brain pills. The body is weak, but my mind! Oh lord in heaven the wonderful thoughts I think. It seems beauty must walk hand in hand with the horrors.

They should invent a gun that shoots kindness

Looking at that mortar and pestle like 👀👀👀

Robot David Letterman named David Numberman

You can’t invite The Bed Shitter if you expect to have clean sheets in the morning

Thank you warrior-poet

Working on this new fetish called DJBDSM, and it’s where I force you to listen to my sick new EDM mix.