@viktorwinetrout.bsky.social
Contributor: @theonion.com @sorrowscopes.bsky.social, @riversidecasino.bsky.social, @greenevillezoo.bsky.social Creator: @sorrowscopes.bsky.social
"Now I've heard there was a secret chunk
That Helen made, and it pleased her hunk
But you don't really care for cookies, do you?"
i sing like Cookie Monster
24.02.2026 04:38 — 👍 9 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 0life is beautiful
24.02.2026 04:12 — 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0[smooth operator voice] horse chiropractor
24.02.2026 03:50 — 👍 75 🔁 10 💬 4 📌 1if it weren't for those meddling kits
24.02.2026 03:43 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0speak for yourself
24.02.2026 03:38 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0fuck you, Mittens
24.02.2026 03:34 — 👍 44 🔁 1 💬 3 📌 0Just destroyed my therapy cat on Yelp
24.02.2026 03:32 — 👍 95 🔁 11 💬 3 📌 0that looks so good
24.02.2026 03:11 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0[after getting 8 likes on a post about Dracula having sex with Bigfoot] I love Bluesky, but this isn't sustainable
20.01.2026 01:01 — 👍 2006 🔁 265 💬 26 📌 7backacha, abby
23.02.2026 02:03 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Happy birthday to one of the funniest and best people here @itsabbyyep.bsky.social!
22.02.2026 21:08 — 👍 36 🔁 2 💬 1 📌 0She: But WHY are you breaking up with me? Please tell me honestly
He (sigh): Ok it’s… your “signature sex move”
She: Judgmental Corpse?
Once I passed out drunk at Georgia O'Keeffe's house and she drew a vagina on my face
09.12.2024 06:15 — 👍 1865 🔁 248 💬 41 📌 5I'm sorry your baby is crying right now. Have you tried taking it farther away from me?
07.01.2025 19:40 — 👍 2068 🔁 302 💬 27 📌 0i have one more (long) clip that i wanted to wait until after the show dropped to share
i cannot fuckin believe they let us do this.
#GodDoesReal
mobile rendering of a post for a recipe for chocolate chip cookie dough cake where the author leads with "I want to start off this post with saying how saddening I was to learn of the bombing at the Boston Marathon."
09.09.2025 20:06 — 👍 2898 🔁 674 💬 15 📌 23yeah, you think i asked for this
22.02.2026 20:13 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0so i should take out the IOU?
22.02.2026 20:11 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Etiquette question: How much do you tip the exorcist when he casts out your demons?
22.02.2026 20:09 — 👍 155 🔁 47 💬 22 📌 3Just once I’d like to see a documentary about a cult that has a nice ending.
22.11.2023 00:37 — 👍 216 🔁 42 💬 15 📌 4wife: i want another kid
me: yeah, fuck brian
I can hear an ambulance
21.02.2026 21:58 — 👍 61 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Told the barista my name is "It's gonna be okay." She keeps saying it. I'm on the floor crying
21.02.2026 21:45 — 👍 911 🔁 145 💬 15 📌 3![Dusty in Memphis - That Old Sweet Roll (Hi-De-Ho) [bonus]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:o5exgt6gniampdauygxutzq7/bafkreifepe2qnfgxsnn26wdffrtrvozatnkuyvd2icdil6kamulzljrh7u@jpeg)
currently listening to:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=F55o...
I do not like him in a box
I do not like his fancy socks
I do not like him wearing crocs
I do not like the funeral pall
I do not like him dead at all
Dr. Seuss struggling not to rhyme as he delivers his dad’s eulogy
21.02.2026 18:52 — 👍 313 🔁 79 💬 6 📌 0i love this song
21.02.2026 05:55 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0ask your doctor if lying down in the forest to be consumed by the earth is right for you
19.11.2025 06:10 — 👍 1461 🔁 522 💬 26 📌 19
