John. Just John.

One of these days, I’m going to cut you into little pieces

One of These Days - Meddle

Show me your quick getaway vehicle

Given away by the Braves in one of our dumber trades. He had a solid few years and one of the weirdest pitching motions ever.

Farthest I’ve been:

N: Yukon N'tnl Wildlife Refuge, AK
E: Naples, Italy
S: Miami
W: Homer, AK

A bengal cat on the back of a sofa, with a window on his left, with his left paw outstretched

This guy...

Why is the guy on the left wearing safety goggles?

*Holding my hand to my ear* I'm afraid I have some bad news...

Essentially my stance. It's a museum and he's one of the best ever to play the game.

As a Braves fan, a fan of Hank Aaron, and a fan of baseball...

...Barry should be in the Hall.

He's a method outfielder.

Imagine the desrision you'd be met with if you told your friends you were gonna go be a cop, then multiply it by a thousand.

I heard that guy had like, 30 goddamn dicks.

A small sitting figure made from tin foil holds a spoon like a guitar.

♫ Feel the rhythm with your hands
♫ Steal the rhythm while you can

I can't be the only one.

I've bought a very expensive bottle of whiskey for One Specific Occasion that could happen any minute. Please, any minute now.

Your crazy aunt's facebook posts are making decisions about public health. The EU and China aren't gonna stop working on this stuff, so we'll watch the rest of the world preventing diseases from the sidelines, while we sit here sick and dying.

Seriously, what kind of Cobra Commander bullshit is this?

I'm with ya. Not the scariest thing I've ever seen.

You should interview an AI version of yourself after you died from embarrassment following an extremely public masturbation accident instead. Just as real and less disrespectful, you troglodyte.

One of the dumbest things anyone can do is start shit with Bill Burr. I don't care who you are. It's like watching Mike Tyson box a 4 yr old.

This explains why the "test" I took to get into the gifted program in 2nd grade was so easy. "Does the square peg go in the square or round hole?" kinda stuff. Turns out they were probably just gassing me up. 🤔

Yeah, I guess it's the closest some people will ever get.

You just know that was some messed up fetish. "Let's do it where Jeff Davis can see us."

Saw them in Atlanta a couple weeks ago and they're still great. Papa's still a goober. A wonderful time was had.

Nick Markakis's fault

Bluesky is absolutely roasting this game, and it deserves every bit of it.

Motörhead - Ace of Spades

Maybe my finger isn't on the pulse of the typical baseball fan, but I don't get the appeal of holding a game in a venue that seats 146,000 and most of the seats aren't anywhere near the field.

So am I getting this straight? The Braves traded... nobody? Did AA get blackout drunk and forget about the trade deadline? We're like the only team that didn't do shit. WTF