Faerie Nuff

I know it worries a lot of you that some of us have been making light of the things exposed in certain emails today. We are taking the crimes seriously. We just also need some mirth, and we've seen how the orange one almost enjoys being hated, but he can't stand being mocked. It's his kryptonite.

You don't have to make a living doing art to be an artist. I went to art school and got a fancy degree in that shit, then worked for 20 years as an artist before the company was sold. I've seen the stuff you make and hereby dub thee an official artist. Stop feeling like an impostor. You're not.

I mean, yeah, but we're taking a small moment of joy in a year that has been oppressively brutal and soul-crushing in a way most of us have never experienced before. The memes are hilarious, and this helps us cope with the ever-present doom.

I will Venmo five American dollars to the first journalist bold enough to ask Trump who Bubba is.

They didn't have to make it look like a sperm, but that little bit of extra effort is what makes it sing.

This might be a stupid question, but has anyone told the insurance companies how much money they'll lose if they suddenly don't have any customers or subsidies anymore? They were powerful enough to lobby against single payer. Surely they can lobby to keep the subsidies that go right to them.

Oreoboros

bsky.app/profile/faer...

While people debate over the legality of the ages of the *children* on Epstein Island, I'm here to remind you that even if they were adults, they weren't there willingly. They were trafficked there, and then they were raped, repeatedly, by the rich and powerful, who need to pay for their crimes.

Yeah, @kenjennings.bsky.social was right. I'm Gen X, and I was yelling at the TV right before he said Gen X was yelling at the TV.

SEATTLE: If you know someone who lives in Seattle and guess they probably voted for Katie Wilson for Mayor, your contribution to this fight is to text them this information about making sure they voted with their signature on the envelope! TEXT them NOW.

Jimmy Kimmel turned out to be such a different (kinder) person, it's hard to believe they once hosted The Man Show together.

Married conservative: A woman's place is at home, not the office.

Divorced conservative: My ex-wife *chose* not to work.

Here...they are:

1. Catherine Cortez Masto (D–Nevada)
2. Jacky Rosen (D–Nevada)
3. John Fetterman (D–Pennsylvania)
4. Dick Durbin (D–Illinois)
5. Tim Kaine (D–Virginia)
6. Maggie Hassan (D–New Hampshire)
7. Jeanne Shaheen (D–New Hampshire)
8. Angus King (I–Maine, caucuses with Democrats)

Yeah, Vance is totally gonna divorce his wife so he's no longer "yoked to a non-believer". Then he's gonna announce his engagement to Erikkka Kirk a few months later.

Fun fact: There's no such thing as spiritual warfare; there's just religious people being assholes and getting called out for it.

Good morning! AI is being force-fed to you by a handful of billionaires who will lose a bunch of money if they fail to convince you that you need it. You do not need it 🫶

Atlanta, Chicago, Los Angeles, New York, and San Francisco/Bay Area - here are some restaurants helping with food if you’re struggling with loss of SNAP benefits.

Please share!

My husband plays Dr. Mario to relax.

Hand written sign at shop reading “WE HAVE” “CHICKEN” “NOODLE” “SOUP”

Gotta say, I’m not so confident that you do

So the #NYRangers can literally go big OR they can go home, but they cannot do both.

bandolier.

Field-Tested Sandwich Ordnance MCT The Beast - 1,460 Calories Classification: Heavy Artillery Devastating area- denial weapon. Upon impact with ballistic plates, the 88g fat payload creates catastrophic grease dispersion across entire torso region. Recommended deployment: When target is giving deposition testimony and wearing their best suit. Leaves permanent marinara scarring on Kevlar weave. | - Supreme Meats - 1,180 Calories Classification: Multi-Stage Munition The 64g ye — fat content ensures maximum oil penetration through plate carrier gaps. — 7 r v = Eight distinct meat layers create a shrapnel effect as components separate > 2 mid-flight. Optimal for: Hostile board meetings where protein-staining (60g) of white dress shirts is mission-critical. Hotshot Italiano - 1,240 Calories Classification: Chemical Warfare The 76g fat delivery system combines with capsaicin irritants for persistent area contamination. Ballistic armor provides zero protection against the pepperoncini juice seepage. Deploy when: Target needs to explain grease stains to their commanding officer for the next six months. The Monster - 1,160 Calories Classification: Bunker Buster 72g protein payload designed for maximum adhesive properties on tactical gear. The "Monster" designation is earned - impacts leave crater-like indentations in plate carriers. Best used: When you need something that won't come out of nylon webbing even after professional cleaning.

Since it's now legal to open carry and use Subway subs as we see fit to defeat Nazis, gonna get me a bandolier this weekend and do what obviously comes next.

Live,
Laugh,
L'Oval Office

Happy about Mamdani's win and what it means for the country, but you know what I'm NOT gonna do? I'm not gonna wear a hat or fly a flag with his name on it, because I'm not a psychopath.

Bomb threats were sent to several polling places, but none of them were actually bombed. They want us to be scared, but all they have is rage and bluster.

Dersh fantasizing about the Budd Dwyer special

If you’re still in line, STAY IN LINE

As I sit down to watch tonight's Jeopardy, I nearly yell out, "God damn it, Ken!"

You expect people having Great Gatsby themed parties to READ?

If a youth pastor had said this to my group, I probably would have said, "What about Moses?"