Bog Dolphin

Tfw some guy is talking with his whole chest about the DSA to you and your gf who are hardcore Marxists.

Everyone in this family is drinking from one of the false holy grails

alysa liu!!!

Mental health status: thinking about the logistics of starting a bookmobile. A used UPS style stepvan is apparently less than $10k...

Can't drink all day if you don't start at 6am.

A sewing machine is an animal capable of smelling fear

Are they not usually allowed to serve alcohol early?

A package of Jack Links Bacon Jerky. It looks like a dog treat.

Hey they're making Beggin Strips for humans now.

Don't forget the gasoline with lead.

It's been 6+ years and I still miss volunteering at the bird hospital in California. There isn't exactly a...seabird rehab in Kansas City, Missouri lol.

the downside of living in new york city is that it’s the only place in america that experiences snowstorms. the upside, and in fact the only reason i live here, is that it’s the only place where you can produce videos and upload them to youtube

Everything I've learned about him has been against my will. 😭

My gf has a coworker who is a militant nudist outside of work and has made it his whole personality, which is why she knows about it. I don't know how she can tolerate him because the amount of cringe I feel just from her secondhand stories about him is off the charts. 😩😵‍💫

THIS

I love living in a time when there are incredible scientific breakthroughs almost every week, but the man in charge of national health eats roadkill for fun and swims in sewage.

Omg, my gf's mom has graduated from posting constant photos of gf's sister's toddler on Facebook to posting AI slop of him. I want to scream.

kirby telling canaders that it's time to learn fahrenheit

👀👀

All I see 🤷🏼‍♀️

Brb looking for my passport

It's giving sarcophagus juice

⑥落とし口を広げよう Let's widen the hole!

thursday morning vibe check

Getting shown up in the arena of elite impunity by *the British monarchy* is an incredible “America at 250!” achievement

Ope I just saw a mouse at the opposite end of the apartment from where Sypha has been staring at the corner. She had ONE JOB! 😭😭🤔

GIRL

Noooooo

Kindle has been suggesting A/B/O romance books to me even though I have read one (1) sports romance book, and I just want to say A/B/O does not make sense to me outside of the fanfic realm. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

Hmmmmm

Can't be perfect at everything I guess

Maybe I should be a Sterile Processing Technician for my next career (I already kind of do this in my current job tbh).