Johnny Baffo

A visit to the Dentist
(Just a check up, very fleeting)
Then spent the afternoon
In a governors’ meeting
Had my tea, put my feet up
Read my book
And watched TV
That’s pretty much how
The day has been for me

Have I been idle?
I absolutely ain’t
Went round to the daughter’s
Gave the shed a coat of paint
Cut the grass
Picked up the grandkids
Then, just for a lark
Took them on their bikes
Round to the park
Played a bit
Chased around
And had a bit of fun
And for once
There’s still energy
Grandad isn’t done

Went out with daughter and grandkids
To get some midday grub
To where our four year old granddaughter
Says, is her ‘most favourite pub’
(That’s my girl)

We went to watch the Tigers
The most bonkers game I’ve seen
19 - nil down, half an hour to go
Then win 29-19
(Exciting!)

Wow! We had it quite rough here too - my porch has got a lot of leaves in it!

I ain’t a fan of Autumn
When it’s rainy and it’s crappy
When it’s pitch dark in the morning
It doesn’t make me happy
I ain’t a fan of Autumn
Cos of leaves and all that shite
But I love it in the Autumn
When rugby’s on, on Friday night

That’s a bit shit Col, hope it sorts you out

OMG!
Bed time
Better do
A quick rhyme

This morning - to the Doctor
For the vaccine ‘gainst the flu
This afternoon to aged relation
Who had some jobs for me to do
This morning, not a problem
Didn’t hurt a bit
This p.m. cut my thumb
And it stings like fucking shit

Small shed, with blotchy green paint

Nipped round to middle daughter’s
Put the doors on the shed
(Didn’t like the doubles
So made a single one instead)
Whacked a load of paint on*
Back home in time for dinner**
Current Baffo status,
Feeling like a winner
* needs another couple of coats
**mid-day meal

Yep, not many words, and blurry pictures (That’s my excuse!)

Tiny shed with no doors, that took me far too long to build

Went to build a shed
For my middle daughter
Sadly it took longer
Than I thought it oughter
I confidently said
I’d do it in a trice
But I was thwarted by instructions
Confused and imprecise
I’ll finish it tomorrow
Won’t take long because
Cough, *Michael Caine voice*
Only got to fix the bloody doors

Regarding my Sunday
These are broadly the facts
Me and Mrs B ain’t done much
Except quietly relax

*sighs* I’ll get the scraper

Thoughts and prayers

Middle daughter’s block paved drive
Was full of weeds and moss
So I vowed that I would clear it
Because it looked so gross
Today I scraped it clean
Every crevice, nook and crack
Now it looks lovely, but my arms hurt
And I’ve done my fucking back

Was going to write a rhyme
Like I always do
But when it came to subject matter
I haven’t got a clue

Watching Question Time

What I’m finding
Rather nice
Is people laughing
At Richard Tice

Me and Mrs B,
Have had a fairly busy day
We emptied the hot tub
And packed it all away
Then when we’d weather-proofed it
As well as we could do
We went to middle daughter’s
And sorted out hers too

a man in a cowboy hat is riding a white horse on top of a rock . ALT: a man in a cowboy hat is riding a white horse on top of a rock .

A consultant gig this morning So I dressed up nice and smart
Put on a shirt and tie
(Cos you have to look the part)
I was all auth-or-it-ative
Baffo’s “wisdom” was imparted
Then with my work all done there
I quietly departed

There’s no ideas for a rhyme
Buzzing in my head
So I’ll have another drink
And toddle off to bed

I was awake a lot last night
All coughy and quite chesty
So today has been quite gentle
Quite quiet and quite resty
However, I feel better now
And I think it’s safe to say
Tomorrow I’ll leap out of bed
And try to seize the day

Had a gentle start this morning
On account of last night
Then had a gentle afternoon
And now I feel alright

An early rhyme this evening
And the reason is, my dears
We’re off with mates, to the flat-roofed pub
For curry (and for beers)

The last time that I looked
I thought Piers Morgan was a twat
Tonight I have seen nothing
That contradicts that

Question Time this evening
I might give it a quick view
I think that I can handle it
What harm can it do?
#HighBloodPressure

a little girl wearing sunglasses and a blue dress is dancing in a hallway . ALT: a little girl wearing sunglasses and a blue dress is dancing in a hallway .

Had to have a new tyre
But it doesn’t seem so bad
Cos it was covered by insurance
That I didn’t know I had!
#Bonus

Have it done Col, my Father in Law had a by pass and it did a good job for him. You’ll be fine, big lad

I’ve watched The News
Most of the day
And I ain’t got much to say
I’ll just pull the duvet
O’er my head
And hope it goes away

Got a Governor’s meeting*
In a day or two
So I’ve been reading all the papers
Just like I’m s’posed to do
A load of policies
Some protocols
A code of conduct
I’ve been reading ‘em all day
And now my brain is fucked

*Grandkids school