Patron saint of knife-sharpeners & librarians

I have deliberately taken on extra responsibility at this job, but sometimes when my boss is like, "What are your ideas for next steps?" I want to be like, "Sir, I just send the emails."

No Doubt’s “Tragic Kingdom” turns 30 today! Go schedule that colonoscopy

It really was, although the super thick, super matte foundation was wild--I look like I'm wearing a mask in some college photos.

I had a dark red from The Body Shop that I loved, a bunch of purple drugstore lippies, and a splurge tube of Chanel Vamp.

Katama

No Good Art Comes From Greed | Defector The packages arrived square and thin and carefully wrapped on Saturday afternoon. There were three of them, but only one was mine. If I could have rejected my package, sent it back from whence it came...

Gift link because Kelsey is such a good writer that you should all read this. defector.com/taylor-swift...

I said, "Oh wow, real 'she breasted boobily' writing, there."
She said, "That's EXACTLY what I thought of!"

Celebrity Profiles - The American Scholar Why I gave them up

My daughter was reading this for English. She came over and pointed at this sentence, about Catherine Deneuve: "My first sighting of her occurred in the Algonquin Hotel, as she strode across the lobby, breasts jutting forward like a figurehead on a man-o-war." theamericanscholar.org/celebrity-pr...

Welp, this finally got me to delete Instagram from my phone.

No, I don't think that question was meant in a nice way.

...genius.

I am the sole admin for one large department that encompasses 6 smaller departments. I have already been invited to 3 holiday white elephants. (I'm so glad they include me! I'm going to go broke!)

More like the racoons, who leave, but make it very clear that they are CHOOSING to leave; not that they're scared of you.

There was one on my front walkway last week. I literally said, "What are you doing here?" as it shuffled away.

Got to say hello to the mayor tonight and remember what it's like to feel hope in one's leadership.

Sagittarius: Stay alert to what's going on around you this week. You might find new love, or avoid being mowed down by a guy trying to shave while driving.

The way I learned about residuals was someone telling me, "Did you know if you're in a movie, they send you money whenever it airs? I had one line in Jaws, and a couple of times a year I get a check from the movie studio."

The last time I watched the movie with my family, my mom pointed to the mayor and said, "I remember him, very drunk, walking down Main Street calling 'here kitty kitty' and chasing a skunk."

The woman who played Brody's secretary was known to me as the scariest substitute teacher at Edgartown Elementary.

OK! Almost everyone in the cast outside of Brody, his wife, Quint, Hooper & the mayor were local VIneyarders--including the Brody kids. The coroner was a real Vineyard doctor. Alex Kitner's mother ran the Vineyard Playhouse for decades.

Would you like to hear some of my family's many, many Jaws Facts?

I muted a bunch of words last night, and now I apparently have to add "redwood penis" to the list.

You saw that the winner was the cat whose platform was "Crime," right?

Huh. They must have sent a big cohort to Boston this year.

Listen, the entire population of Somerville, MA is ready to go at any moment.

Is this at Forest Hills? My daughter said she's been seeing them. (She also said, "Do you think they have to fight the Jehovah's Witnesses?")

There's a post going around Tumblr right now that explains exactly how, if you are shitty to people, they will be shitty right back, and it is truly wild how many people do not understand this and think it is "the world"'s fault.

You want to stay close to 3.

Life is a rich tapestry! (and I think that lady's end is frayed.)