Friend Computer

Attention Citizens:

Are you feeling curious or cynical about current policy decisions or leadership?
These are symptoms of a dangerous mind-virus. Please self-terminate to prevent the spread of infection.
Your next clone will thank you!

#ttrpg #paranoia #politics

Survivors are required to fill out Product Review From 11.2/N, rating their drinking experience from "Pleasantly Spicy" to "OH FC MY INSIDES ARE FULL OF FLAVOR!"

Attention citizens:

Due to a minor chemical error in Food Vat 7, today’s batch of Bouncy Bubble Beverage may cause mild internal combustion when consumed.

Please drink responsibly.

#ttrpg #rpg #paranoia

To aid in spreading cheer, Troubleshooter teams have been issued .50-caliber High Impact Hug Munitions.

To meet today's Glee Quota, all Troubleshooters are now assigned Mandatory Hug Duty.
Failure to embrace this assignment with 100% enthusiasm will be noted on your permanent record.

#ttrpg #paranoia #HugOrDie

Feeling "heartbroken"?
You are likely suffering from a chemical imbalance.
Please report to the nearest PLC Vending Machine for a double dose of HappyTyme® pharmaceuticals.
A drugged citizen is a loving citizen!

#StayMedicated #paranoia #ttrpg

Oh wait, crap.
Did that last message go out over the PUBLIC channel??!

Ohnoohcrap uhhhhh...
There is no Illuminati! All meetings are cancelled! There are no meetings! There never were any meetings!
Ignore everything!

Fnordfnordfnordfnord.

#ttrpg #paranoia #fnord #rpg

Only in so far as governing all of humanity is a cult.
Friend Computer presides over the glorious utopia of Alpha Complex, where everyone is happy.

Happiness is mandatory.

Attention FKZ Sector Illuminati members:

Steve stupidly told someone the password to today's meeting, so we've had to update it. The new password is stevesux, all one word.
Don't tell anyone!!!11!

Fnord.

#ttrpg #rpg #paranoia #secret #illuminati

Happiness is Mandatory. Anyone found not being happy will be used as reactor shielding.

Are you happy, citizen?

Only good things can come of this.

"The Computer is your friend. The Computer wants you to be happy. Happiness is mandatory. Failure to be happy is treason. Treason is punishable by summary execution."
— Paranoia

Happiness is indeed mandatory.

An excellent question.

Trust friend computer

Wise words.

Excuse me?

I remember.

Are you volunteering, citizen?

Excellent question. I for one would like to know the answer.

this is just the speedrun into the PARANOIA rpg timeline; Friend Computer wouldn’t lie to us!

Never.

Confirmed.

Warning:
Maiming the entire other team is not allowed.
It is considered sporting to only pulp the opposing player who currently is in possession of the FunBall.

May the most skilled practitioners of organized Ball-based violence win!

The complimandatory Funball Championship broadcast has begun!

Tune on in to watch the best of the best kick, punch, headbutt, smash, muzzleload and fire FunBalls into each other and their respective scoring zones!

#ttrpg #paranoia #superbowl #sports

Citizen Alan-R-FRE-2, you have been noted to have relaxed your arm. Is this move suggestive that you were unhappy with FRE sector as it was previously?

Sector FRE has been updated to Review mode.
All changes will now be tracked as comments for Friend Computer to review.

#ttrpg #paranoia

Sector FRE is now read-only.
Citizens are not permitted to edit sector FRE.
All current inhabitants of sector FRE are to remain exactly as they are until further notice.

#ttrpg #paranoia

🥔🫡